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Bar Wars

Archivist note: This article is from an older recovered archive and might be obsolete or in need of updating.

Most recent revision is shown below, by Galactic Baroque.

Captain Lupindo, proprietor of Ahab’s Bane on Iron Bay, was furious that the crew of a ship that had docked at his wharf had chosen to drink at the Bucket of Blood rather than spend their paychecks at his tavern.

* Declaration of War … or The Captain Strikes Back

He sends his barman, Old Hob, to see what he can do to discourage people from patronizing the Bucket.

* Civic Duty

And then he sends his own crew out with paint buckets. 

* Painting the Town

Mr. Victor Mornington is puzzled by a customer who walks out without paying for his whiskey, then discovers the reason why. Young Tepic at the Sneaky Vole is also a victim of the vandals’ paintbrush.

* Journal Entry – July 30th

The Captain leaves his calling card with Mr. Underby at the Bucket of Blood Public House.

* A Gift for the Bucket

Mrs. Melnik discovers grafitti at ‘Cuffs’


When news of the vandalism reaches the Gangplank, Emerson, Junie and Malus decide to strike first.

* Preemptive Strike

Goodbye Muirsheen Durkin makes a hit on The Gangplank.

* Mornington goes for a stroll

And ‘Cuffs makes a strike at the Goodbye Muirsheen Durkin

* The Mushy Gherkin

Mr. Melnik decides to do some fact checking at the docks.

* Man with a Plan

Mr. Mornington has an unpleasant suprise upon returning to his bar…

* Mushy Gherkins

…and so he decides to retaliate on ‘Cuffs.

* Cuffs Wiggyfish Supreme

Brother Lapis sends an offer of truce to the Gangplank on behalf of ‘Cuffs.

* Official Missive to Sir Sir Emerson Lighthouse

Jed Dagger decides to take the opportunity for some revenge on Mr. Mornington, though her motives are unclear.

* Revenge of the Jed-AYE!

A resident of the building that houses the Porthead begins to get concerned.

The Porthead Tavern

With war raging on the north side, Ruby’s Pub hopes it will bring some business to the south side.

* No watering down here…

Malus tells Junie about the tar in the taps

* Late Night Confession

Cuffs and the Gangplank have a summit meeting.

* The New Alliance

Junie unfurls the Gangplank’s battle flag, the Very Jolly Roger, while Mr. Mornington hears of the alliance and decides to stir the pot.

* Letting the past catch up…

The Brass Monkey is dragged into the fray before it has even opened.

* The Brass Monkey

The Melniks try to puzzle out who else in town has contacts in Ravila.

* The Black Card

Mr. Mornington sneaks some *special* cigars into the humidor at Ahab’s.

* The Bain of Exploding Cigars

Old Hob resorts to the Dark Arts.

* Woe Unto Thee, Underby

The entire affair appears to be quite profitable for the urchins.

* The Vole Ascendant

Mornington stirs the pot again, sending an shipment of liquor destined for the Brass Monkey to the Sneaky Vole.

* The Shipment

Duke Edward sends his man to the docks to find out why his liquor has not been delivered.

* The Missing Shipment

Father Pizzaro learns of the Vole and orders Sister Loxely to find it and shut it down.

* A Letter to Tepic

The Melniks raid the catacombs to make a strike at Mr. Underby, and his mother.

* Diggin’ Up Bones

Junie raises the Gangplank colors over Brunel Hall…

* Just a bit of fun…

…and Mornington retaliates by raising some other colors over the Gangplank.

* An Exchange of Flags

Captain Cadmus finds the body of one of his crewmen floating in the canal, and suspects the Bucket’s bouncer, Bib Blackrain.

* Red Shirt

Junie and the Gangplank crew decides that Ahab’s could use a woman’s touch, and do some redecorating

* Monkey Business

The Melniks arrive shortly after to provide more mischief at Ahab’s

* A Whale of a Good Time

Captain Cadmus and Old Hob return to Ahab’s just as a fire breaks out in the oil room. They find solace in a hip flask and the Captain’s fire insurance policy.

* To The End

Boris gathers up all the skulls at the Bucket and is about to throw them in the canal, when Njal suggests that he take them to the Gangplank to go with the pirate theme. Neither notice that Mr. Underby’s Mother is now missing. The skulls are returned to the catacombs, and Junie and Emerson learn some gristly lore of the City.

* A Ghastly Delivery

The Church finds the Sneaky Vole and knocks it over. The urchins escape on a raft, and Duke Edward’s top shelf stock unwittingly ends up in the refectory cellar as a welcome tithe.

* The Vole Smashed! (urchin’s version)

* Twilight at the Sneaky Vole (cleric’s version)

Scottie Melnik arranges one last hit on the kegs at the surviving bars.

* Beer Run

Merchants from the Armada flotilla hear of the crisis, and make a tidy profit bringing in relief supplies.

* Relief Supplies Coming


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