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The Vole Assendant – Bar Wars

Tepic looked round the environs of the Sneaky Vole, seeing the happy faces of the urchins and child factory workers. It was proving a profitable turn of events, this wars between the bars, at lease for Tepic and the children of the streets. He had been able to put the prices down and provide better than usual goods and still make money!

First had been the pickles, now every table had an old jar full of girkins resting on it, free for the taking, and the bloke at Mr Mornington’s had just been shovelling them into carts to be burried! A flask of vole kumis had sealed the deal, and there were several tubs of them now out back – admittedly some with spade cuts….

Then the chap carting off the fish oil tainted bottles from Cuffs. He had met a delegation of urchins who made him an offer he couldn’t refuse – a nice rest while the urchins did all the work of disposal. None of the ship’s boys from the fishing or whaling fleets noticed the taint, and neither did the young workers at the wiggyfish cannery. The ones from the camphor refinery never knew the difference in what they were drinking, but at least it was good booze, and not likely to turn them blind, as their usual tipple tended to…

This evening, an urchin fishing down by the docks heard a splash, and on investigating found an almost full box of cigars floating on the canal. He had fished them out, lit up, and after a rather damp explosion, decided to trade them in at the Vole for a very happy night. Tepic and the others had stripped the tobacco, and it was now being smoked in pipes, roll-ups and even chewed, with the explosive capsules being tossed at regular intervals into the blazing fires…

Life was good, and the urchins were having a whale of a time!

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  1. Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein August 5, 2012

    ::chuckles:: Maybe you should sell any excess kumis if you have it, to the Mondragons. They’re terribly lacking in it.

  2. Gil the Sea Urchin Gil the Sea Urchin August 5, 2012

    It had been along time since Gil had come to shore. When the boys on the ship told him of a place that had fish flavored drinks he had to try one.

    He struggled to get on the dock. Lucky an few urchins helped carry him to the Vole.

     Gil licked his lips and smiled. The drink made his tummy warm and his head light. It did taste like fish!

    His words slurred. “Do you have anything fishier?”

  3. Henri Metier Henri Metier August 5, 2012

    It appears that one bars trash is Tepic’s treasure.

  4. Jimmy Branagh Jimmy Branagh August 6, 2012

    Jimmy sat back in the darkest corner of the Vole, working his pickle and rum and smoking a roll-up.  He watched as the other urchins each enjoyed the scene in their own way, and marveled at what Tepic had accomplished off the cuff with no up front expeditures, but merely the mistakes of war.

    “Th’ lad’s got th’ town ‘ee want’s roight now,” thought Jimmy.  ” ‘ee’s got th’ brines an’ th’ moxey.  One dye, ‘ee’ll be runnin’ ’em awl.”

    He chuckled to himself, knowing that what he was thinking was already true elsewhen.


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