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The Right Fit

Archivist note: This post is from an older recovered archive.


==Initial Post==

((Posted by Mr Underby on June 1, 2010))

Mr Underby enters the hospital room of Mr Kuroe, in attendance is Proffesor Lionheart and Mr Clowes.

[17:27] Heliotrope Lionheart blinks. "Underby?"

[17:27] YoYo Underby: Good day, Proffesor Lionheart.

[17:27] Heliotrope Lionheart: Mr Underby, it’s been some time.

[17:27] YoYo Underby: How is the patient?

[17:27] Chess Clowes glances up from the bed, "I don’t think we’ve met"

[17:28] Heliotrope Lionheart: Recovering gradually

[17:28] YoYo Underby: The name is Underby.

[17:28] YoYo Underby bows slightly

[17:28] Ashiko Kuroe sighs softly holding its contents under his tongue before swallowing "It never left Professor…" he grins at the newcomer "I must say the same… Kuroe."

[17:28] Chess Clowes returns a short bow that is more akin to a nod, "Clowes".

[17:28] YoYo Underby: I know you be reputation, Mr Kuroe

[17:28] YoYo Underby: You’ve got this city in quite the state.

[17:29] Heliotrope Lionheart: The turmoil over this is… quite grand.

[17:29] YoYo Underby: Indeed.

[17:29] Ashiko Kuroe grins impishly a slight twitter to his left hand, his other slinking the bottle into his sheets "Ah that’s good."

[17:29] YoYo Underby: Politics can be so amusing sometimes.

[17:30] YoYo Underby: And your new leg, how is that?

[17:30] Ashiko Kuroe smiles "It feels like a lump of dead weight hanging from a stomp, but these two assure me it will work."

[17:30] Heliotrope Lionheart: Mr Clowes and I are here to supervise the field test. Clowes is the designer, you see.

[17:31] YoYo Underby: Ah, very good, a man of science.

[17:31] YoYo Underby: We need more.

[17:31] Chess Clowes grins, "Made of the finest Babbage iron"

[17:31] YoYo Underby smiles.

[17:31] Ashiko Kuroe chuckles "I’m not a scientist, I am merely a… business man."

[17:31] Heliotrope Lionheart raises a brow. "Are you turning toward science yourself, Mr Underby?"

[17:31] YoYo Underby: I was not speaking to you, Mr Kuroe.

[17:32] YoYo Underby: Oh, I’ve always fancied myself something of a scientist.

[17:32] YoYo Underby: I simply experiment in different matters.

[17:32] Ashiko Kuroe frowns slightly leaning against his bedpost in disappointment.

[17:32] Chess Clowes grins broader, "I see the morphine doesn’t dull his self-centeredness any"

[17:32] Heliotrope Lionheart hmms and nods, "It is good to exercise all of one’s available tools."

[17:32] YoYo Underby: Indeed.

[17:32] YoYo Underby: At any rate, I am a busy man, I should get on with what I came here for.

[17:32] Heliotrope Lionheart: Yes?

[17:33] Chess Clowes: A pound of flesh?

[17:33] YoYo Underby: Might I be able to examine the patients neck for a moment?

[17:33] YoYo Underby: Under your supervision, of course, I will not try anything rash.

[17:33] YoYo Underby: No, Mr Clowes, that’s been had already.

[17:33] YoYo Underby: I believe the mayor recently feasted on it.

[17:33] Heliotrope Lionheart: That you should ask him. I know you to be non-vampiric…

[17:33] Chess Clowes sighs, "It’d just give me more to replace"

[17:34] YoYo Underby: It will only take a moment, Mr Kuroe.

[17:34] Ashiko Kuroe raises a brow "I must ask your reasons" he tilted his neck to the side.

[17:34] Chess Clowes: Beware Ashiko’s numerous lovebites.

[17:35] Heliotrope Lionheart glances at Chess, then Ashiko, then Underby

[17:35] YoYo Underby: I come on orders of the mayor, he wishes me to measure the circumference of the patient’s neck

[17:35] Heliotrope Lionheart: You’re following Tenk’s orders now?

[17:35] YoYo Underby: As always.

[17:35] YoYo Underby bows again

[17:35] Chess Clowes suddenly gains an understanding grin, "Preparing the rope?"

[17:35] YoYo Underby: Indeed. These are lean times.

[17:36] YoYo Underby: Best not to waste an inch.

[17:36] Ashiko Kuroe chuckles glancing at underby "Oh of course… how is the guise of the servant working for you?"

[17:36] Heliotrope Lionheart smiles. "Certainly an accurate measurement will help us all in this matter"

[17:36] YoYo Underby: Very well, sir. Very well indeed.

[17:36] Chess Clowes: So the court has already reached a verdict before the case. Efficiency is marvelous.

[17:37] YoYo Underby smiles

[17:37] YoYo Underby: Best to be prepared

[17:37] Heliotrope Lionheart: Babbage always runs like a well-greased and insanely programmed machine.

[17:37] Ashiko Kuroe grins showing a flash of teeth

[17:38] Ashiko Kuroe: Babbage continues to underestimate me… and it continues to fill me with glee.

[17:38] Heliotrope Lionheart: Mr Underby, I sense… a coming together of forces in the city of late.

[17:38] YoYo Underby: Yes, Mr Tenk ad I have reached an agreement.

[17:38] YoYo Underby looks down at Mr Kuroe.

[17:38] Chess Clowes: It’s probably for the best I’ve been away from the city for quite some time.

[17:39] YoYo Underby: I am glad we can contribute to your good mood, sir…

[17:39] YoYo Underby: …along with the dope.

[17:39] Chess Clowes: And the sponge baths.

[17:39] YoYo Underby: So, might i measure?

[17:39] YoYo Underby looks at Mr Clowes

[17:39] Ashiko Kuroe sighs contentedly "Ah it’s lost the entertainment ages ago…"

[17:40] Chess Clowes flashes a facetious grin

[17:40] Heliotrope Lionheart: The baths, that’s where I haven’t been in months.

[17:40] YoYo Underby: And yet we fill you will glee, how wonderfully paradoxical

[17:40] Ashiko Kuroe blinks shaking his head with a frown "Oh not you lot my good sir… the morphine."

[17:41] YoYo Underby: They told me you werre amusing. They were correct.

[17:41] Heliotrope Lionheart: Do watch your fingers, Mr Underby, or the measurement may not turn out

[17:41] YoYo Underby: It bites?

[17:41] Chess Clowes: It rips and tears.

[17:41] Heliotrope Lionheart: For a fee

[17:42] Chess Clowes: It also is easily cleaned, get yours today.

[17:42] YoYo Underby: Well. As much fun as this verbal sparring is, I am a busy man.

[17:42] YoYo Underby: I will need to guess.

[17:42] Ashiko Kuroe exposes his neck "Gentlemen. Let’s not keep the dog waiting, I’m sure that his master’s tugging his leash."

[17:43] Chess Clowes: Shall we restrain him?

[17:43] YoYo Underby: Of course he is Mr Kuroe. Of course he is.

[17:43] YoYo Underby: No.

[17:43] YoYo Underby leans out and places measuring tape around the neck.

[17:43] YoYo Underby: Thirteen inches. You should be feeding this poor rabbit more, he’s wasting away!

[17:44] YoYo Underby: At this rate his head will pop clean off on the scaffold.

[17:44] Heliotrope Lionheart: To the delight of many, I’m sure

[17:44] YoYo Underby: I am as well.

[17:44] Ashiko Kuroe tuts "And what’s your neckline good sir?"

[17:44] YoYo Underby: Ten.

[17:44] YoYo Underby: But I am not heading to the gallows.

==Comments==

*Comment by Vernden Jervil on June 1, 2010 at 9:49pm
If we hang him, do we give him back to Steelhead afterwards?

*Comment by Tepic Harlequin on June 1, 2010 at 11:38pm
gor blimy…… that’s putting the horse before the cart…, anyway, it’s the weight that’s important in these situations, not the neck size…… with accurate calculation of the distance ter drop…. so question is, why does Mr Underby need ter know that?

*Comment by Myrtil on June 2, 2010 at 3:34am
Maybe he needs a head that will fit the body if his Frankenstein monster?

*Comment by Grendel Footman on June 2, 2010 at 3:47am
Wait…Underby’s building one now? gah! *throws out the plans for the composite reanimated man MK II and pulls out the plans for the oil monster instead*

*Comment by Mr. Tenk on June 2, 2010 at 10:10am
o-รณ

*Comment by Queer Hermit on June 2, 2010 at 10:55am
My My….Tepic, when did you become so wise in matters such as this?

*Comment by Mr Underby on June 2, 2010 at 12:06pm
((OOC: It has been brought to my attention that there are people from Steelhead who do not understand Mr Underby’s role in the recent conversations. Mr Underby claims to be the personal advisor to our mayor, Mr Tenk. However, he is nothing close to such a position. He is a scoundrel who would love nothing more than to worm his way into such a position, but is not. He has no authority in any regard, and was certainly NOT sent by Mr Tenk to measure Mr Kuroe’s neck.

Please do not confuse this post with official Babbage government workings.

As you were.))

*Comment by Tepic Harlequin on June 2, 2010 at 4:32pm
ummm…. one of the books they was gonna burn in the Athan.. athern… in the big building was by some bloke called Pierrepoint, an i read it when i was kipping down there… it was very interesting, but strange how many of the blokes he done in turned out not to have done it….

*Comment by Gabriell Anatra on June 2, 2010 at 7:22pm
Not really. Unfortunately governments more often kill because it’s demanded than because it’s necessary.

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