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The Fish Problem

Archivist note: This post is from an older recovered archive.

==Initial Post==

((Posted by Emperor Crumb on May 14, 2010))

One fine misty morning in the town of New Babbage, a young philosopher named Roland Dorchester arrived at the docks, and waved to the first person he saw… Emperor Ezra Crumb II, standing somewhat shakily on a soapbox. He called out to the Emperor, asking where there was a good place to eat.

The Emperor suggested a nearby pub named the Gangplank and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited the Emperor to join him. Much obliged, and never one to turn down an offer for a free lunch, Emperor Crumb readily agreed and accompanied the scholar to the nearby public house, where they asked the owner, a Miss Macbain, about the special of the day.

“Fish! Fresh Fish!” replied the stunning red-haired woman.

“Bring us two,” Mr Dorchester requested.

A few minutes later, a little man brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was quite considerably smaller than the other. Without a moment of hesitation, Emperor Crumb took the larger of the fish and slapped it onto his plate.

Mr Dorchester, giving the Emperor a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only flagrantly selfish, but that it also violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system.

The Emperor listened to the philosopher’s extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, the Emperor asked, “Well, good sir, pray tell the Emperor what you would have done in his place?”

Mr Dorchester smiled. “I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself.” said the scholar.

“And here you are,” the Emperor said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman’s plate.


*Comment by Mr. W—— on May 14, 2010 at 3:55pm
I think I like this Emperor fellow after all…*chuckle*

*Comment by Ceejay Writer on May 14, 2010 at 4:41pm
laughs Ooooooo, is Emperor Crumb back? bounces

*Comment by Jimmy Branagh on May 15, 2010 at 12:31am
Yay welcome back, Emperor!

*Comment by Breezy Carver on May 15, 2010 at 12:44pm
Welcome Back Indeed !!!! .. proceeds to hides all the rum !

*Comment by Skyler ‘Artful Dodger’ Gant on May 15, 2010 at 5:49pm
Smiles slightly

Welcome Back Emperor! Word of advice, mate, save some rum for me.

*Comment by Mr. Tenk on May 16, 2010 at 12:34am
The Emperor out on his rounds! A sure sign that summer is coming!

*Comment by Stargirl Macbain on May 17, 2010 at 1:04pm

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