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A Worthy Speech

Archivist note: This post is from an older recovered archive.

==Initial Post==

((Posted by Emperor Crumb on May 26, 2010))

His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Ezra Crumb II, gave sermons every Friday afternoon on top of some soap boxes near the docks.

One day, having nothing to preach about, he asked the small group of people who stood waiting: “Do you know the subject I am going to discuss today?”

“No.” said the people.

“In that case, I steadfastly refuse to speak to such an ignorant assembly. How could you not know given the events of the past week?” asked the Emperor and left hurriedly.

The next Friday he climbed shakily up onto the soapboxes and called out in a rough voice: “Do you know the subject of my speech today?”

The crowd, fearing a repetition of what had taken place a week before, nodded and said: “Yes yes, indeed we do know, Sire.”

“Well, then. Why should I waist my breath telling you what you already know?” asked the Emperor and left.

On the third Friday he climbed once again onto the soapboxes and asked: “Do you know what I am going to speak about today?”

Not knowing what to say, some people in the crowd said yes and some said no. “Wonderful!” cried the Emperor. “Then those who know what I was going to speak about can tell those who didn’t” he said, and left.


*Comment by Tepic Harlequin on May 26, 2010 at 2:32pm
errrr… Your Imperial Majesty, are you by any chance related ter the Mullah Nasrudin or the Hodger?

*Comment by Mr. W—— on May 26, 2010 at 2:45pm

*Comment by Emperor Crumb on May 26, 2010 at 2:49pm
I am related to Mullah Nasrudin, Analla the Gay, Giufà, Munchausen, Djohá, Joshua Norton I, Cyrus Teed, Malaclypse the Younger, Otis Campbell, Hoopla the Disreputable, Phil Sanders, and Ambush Bug. I do not know this Hodger you speak of though… who is she?

*Comment by Grendel Footman on May 26, 2010 at 4:49pm
Ambush Bug? the same Ambush Bug of the planet Schwab?

*Comment by Tepic Harlequin on May 26, 2010 at 5:00pm
Your Imperial Majesty, the Hodger, he is a close relative of the Mullah, though living slightly further North and East :-) i look forward to making the acquaintance of the the other gentlemen and possibly ladies of your family, for they all sound the most admirable of companions!

*Comment by Emperor Crumb on May 26, 2010 at 5:14pm
Planet Schwab, and raised by a television, whatever that is… the very same.

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