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The Scrubbing of Django Yifu

Archivist note: This article is from an older recovered archive and might be obsolete or in need of updating.

Most recent revision is shown below, by Bookworm.


==Initial Post==
((Sept. 4, 2008))

The terrible fire not withstanding, this seemed the perfect opportunity to give young Master Django Yifu of New Babbage the scrubbing he so needed and has been desperately avoiding. Several of us had assembled and were gazing at the blaze (not everybody has the means or skills to attempt to quench such a thing).

On hand were Breezy Carver and myself, Mr. Holmes and his friend Dr. Watson, young Django and Jimmy Branagh (smelling quite clean and of lilac), and the nefarious Dr. Obolensky. Young Myrtil Igaly soon arrived, as did Spider Sopwith.

Soon, Beq Janus arrived and we tried to find a means to quench the blaze. The first thought was trying to maneuver a tub of water that she managed to fill, but still that would never be enough water for the task at hand. “The largest bucket I have”, she said. Breezy commented, “Miss Janus, you are most handy always!”. But the proximity of young Django to this tub was an opportunity that could not be passed up. “That looks suspiciously like a tub to me”, Django lamented

Jimmy laughed and said “Run, Django! It’s a trap!”
Before he could bolt, I told him there was a bottle of rum at the bottom of the tub. Even Miss Janus told the lad to run. Breezy watched Django in amazmenet as the lad neared the tub, unable to resist the lure of rum. “I can’t see no rum,” he said. At that point, I made my move and grabbed the lad, plopping him squarely in the tub. “Drat,” He hollered.

I asked Breezy for the powdered soap she had just purchased and liberally added it to the tub. “I’ll hold him, you get behind his ears.” I told Breezy.
Django cried “Noooooo!” He twisted and turned and struggled as we did out best to scrub the lad. “Gerrrofff!!!!!,” he hollered. At that point I produced a rather large potato from behind his ear. Jimmy mentioned the fact that he was glad he’d doused himself with lilac water before venturing out for the day. “You got off light Jimmy!” Django said. Breezy noticed the lad’s distress and said “The chilld is more tainted and traumatised by the water then burning building.”

At which point the lad managed to break free and ran to Dr. Obolensky. “I’m gonna make friends with Dr O!.. ‘E won’t wash me!… protect me Dr…I’ll see ya right!” He tried to get the Doctor to hire him as an assistant. To which Dr. O commented, “Indeed! Although, I usually don’t hire underaged lackeys.”
Whereupon, the Doctor explained to Django that he would be more suited to the life of a pirate what with his penchant for rum, abhorance to bathing and foul little mouth.

==Comments (Page 1)==

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 4, 2008 at 9:42am
grinss “his foul little mouth” Django You are indeed quite a special little boy .. as so many of us care about you and your baths so very very much … covers mouth as I giggle .. a great deal on this well done Dear Skusting well done !!!!!!!!

i bet piratebob is going to be jealous ……
and and the horsey is going to be jealous .don’t worry fellas we all care abouts yas too .

*Reply by Skusting Dagger on September 4, 2008 at 9:43am
I bet Bob goes into hiding! Probably try to run off to the circus or something!

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 9:55am
HIde? why should I when i could just arm myself a little better than poor Django.

I also have taken to rubbing potassium into my clothes. If i’m going out clean i’m taking you all with me!

*Reply by Sylvie Franizzi on September 4, 2008 at 10:05am
My goodness! Quite the clever little fellow, that Bob!

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 10:15am
Genius miss! A genius!

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 4, 2008 at 10:16am
looks up … oh thats good what a good and dear Bob you are …
potassium you mean your eating bannanas yes ???

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 10:35am
NO miss. The powder!

*Reply by Skusting Dagger on September 4, 2008 at 10:31am
Do you think that is wise, young man? What with living in the Vernian Sea and all? And the abundance of canals? Sudden rainstorms? I do not think you have thought this through, lad.

* Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 10:35am
I take your point sir, fortunatly the damp of the vernian tunnels has only lead to some discomfort so far but i had not been unlucky enough to deal with rain. Thank you and noted!

Discards clothes

runs naked to the shops!

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 4, 2008 at 10:39am
oh My !!!!!!!!! a naked scamp !!!!!!!!
a dirty Naked scamp Oh Skusting please get the lad some fresh cloths ahh the powder … you didn’t say powder now did you :p
thankyou Dear !!!!!

*Reply by Ceejay Writer on September 4, 2008 at 10:43am
I never thought to see the day this ruffian could be captured and bathed! I believe this event is epic enough to be remembered for many years to come. Perhaps the day should be made a local holiday. “Django Bathday” perhaps!

I’m concerned about this potassium situation, though. I went to Wikipedia the library and did some research…. Potassium is a soft silvery-white metallic alkali metal that occurs naturally bound to other elements in seawater and many minerals. It oxidizes rapidly in air and is very reactive with water, generating sufficient heat to ignite the evolved hydrogen.

*Reply by Sylvie Franizzi on September 4, 2008 at 12:09pm
Well, apparently the potassium is no longer a concern. Now we simply have a skyclad Bob to contend with.

==Comments (Page 2)==

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 3:13pm
I’ve never felt so freeeeeeeee!!!

*Reply by Ceejay Writer on September 4, 2008 at 8:11pm
wants to scold but you look so durned blissful!

*Reply by Bookworm Hienrichs on September 4, 2008 at 12:22pm
“I believe this event is epic enough to be remembered for many years to come. Perhaps the day should be made a local holiday. “Django Bathday” perhaps!”

And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That splashed with us upon Django’s Bathday.

*Reply by Ceejay Writer on September 4, 2008 at 12:41pm
wild applause PERFECT!

*Reply by Mara Razor on September 4, 2008 at 12:45pm
Bravo!!

*Reply by Bookworm Hienrichs on September 4, 2008 at 3:07pm
Thankee kindly, you three. It simply popped into my head, and had to be said.

Unfortunately, I have to count myself amongst those so accursed. wry grin

*Reply by Mara Razor on September 4, 2008 at 12:38pm
I missed it!!! I would have paid good Lindens to see Django get scrubbed! And don’t let that Jimmy fool you, I believe he’s got someone watchin’ over him.

*Reply by Capt. Red Llewellyn on September 6, 2008 at 12:17am
i am also despondent that i missed it, too! i had with me some bay rum cologne to sprinkle upon the lad after such an event! i would lure him with the idea that it was bay RUM then pretend to stumble and let it sprinkle about….Voila!

((i must agree, great pics and commentary Mr. Dagger!…))

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 6, 2008 at 12:26am
Rofl !!!!!!!!!

*Reply by Mr. Django Yifu on September 4, 2008 at 3:25pm
My word! I been wrapped up in bed all day ‘aving been made soppin’ wet, out of doors, on a cold Autumnal day, wracked with a serious bout of the sniffles and my beloved city is celebratin’ the event!

I shoulda known that when a poor urchin is put upon by the adults find cause to celebrate. So yeah, maybe I am sweeter smellin’ and maybe some of those yeasty patches seem to of cleared up (I was savin’ them!), but my ‘ealth is in the balance i tell ya sniff!!! I’m fadin’…achooo…fadin’….pathetic cough

((Mr Dagger, I commend you on your inventive commentary and impressive pictures))

*Reply by Sylvie Franizzi on September 4, 2008 at 3:46pm
Oh goodness! Well, if the boy truly is on his deathbed, which it sounds like he is, then my professional medical advice is to assign round-the-clock care. His every need must be attended to in order to prevent his young life from being snuffed out prematurely! I recommend an adult be present with the lad at all hours of the day and night to see to this end. He should not be left alone for even a second, lest his condition worsen to the point that he is beyond our aid.

Don’t worry, lad. We’re here for you. All of us. All the time. Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Three hundred and sixty-six if it happens to be a leap year. We shall not let you get called up yonder so young!

*Reply by Mr. Django Yifu on September 4, 2008 at 3:49pm
You know what miss…sniff..? I seem…cough…to be…cahhumm…feelin a whole lot better. Why, yes!! I am right as rain I believe, musta just been a bad cloud of miasma I breathed in…sniffle.

==Comments (Page 2)==

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 5:16pm
SEE! this is all your fault Mr Skusting! Baths is bad and its plan to see. thats science that is!

*Reply by Sylvie Franizzi on September 4, 2008 at 6:24pm
Please, sir, do not confuse science with your overactive imagination and aversion to cleanliness. It’s quite an insult to scientists and the well-bathed.

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 4, 2008 at 6:27pm
Pah! i have no aversion to cleanliness, as long as its doesnt come near me its allright.

*Reply by Skusting Dagger on September 4, 2008 at 7:24pm
Easy for you to say now. Now that you’ve gone and scrubbed yourself up and even given yourself a bit of a hair cut. Perhaps a bit of adulthood and self esteem has rubbed off on you from that old oversized ringmaster’s coat you’ve scrounged up.

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 4, 2008 at 7:30pm
and Hat don’t forget the topper dear !

*Reply by Skusting Dagger on September 4, 2008 at 7:31pm
Oh my yes… but I did want to save something of a surprise for any carnival goers. The lad is working so hard!

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 6, 2008 at 11:12am
had to get dapper mr skusting sir, for the bash and all. Wouldnt want to let you and miss carver down!

*Reply by Ceejay Writer on September 4, 2008 at 8:13pm
COLD baths are bad. STEAMY baths are good and quite fun! Perhaps the grownups might wish to avail themselves of Miss Common’s uncommon cleansing creation, next time?

*Reply by Mara Razor on September 4, 2008 at 4:31pm
Oh puh-lease Django! You know you’re welcome to have a nice hot bath at my house in front of the stove anytime, and then to laze about on the sofa in front of the fire place to dry off. So, don’t be trying to make the grown-ups feel guilty. You brought it on yourself.

*Reply by Elilka Sieyes on September 4, 2008 at 8:59pm
I knew a landlady who suggested our street urchins make themselves presentable. She quickly learned that the only thing muckier than an urchin is a damp urchin.

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 5, 2008 at 2:10am
heheheh and crosser!

==Comments (Page 2)==

*Reply by Mr. Django Yifu on September 5, 2008 at 7:11am
I suppose the one consolation is that I’m more presentable for the upcoming ball…and I got all that clean skin to smear dirty machine oil into again…once the ball is complete an’ I’ve won all the prizes!

*Reply by Sylvie Franizzi on September 5, 2008 at 8:43am
“…once the ball is complete an’ I’ve won all the prizes!”

Really? Planning on winning the one for Best Dressed Lady as well, are you?

/me smiles humorously

*Reply by Mr. Django Yifu on September 6, 2008 at 9:41pm
Maaayyybee!

*Reply by Mara Razor on September 5, 2008 at 12:19pm
/Tries to imagine Django in formal wear.

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 5, 2008 at 12:24pm
awww well if I don’t see a happy face there will be no prizes for you young man !!
look how handsome you look now except for that mean i am pouting face …

perhaps I should use my hanky and wipe that face good to tidy up a nice smile aye !!!!!!

*Reply by Breezy Carver on September 6, 2008 at 9:36pm
awww we heard the child caught a cold … so thought some chicken soup would help there there mr dagger he will be back soon ………….. looks at his tree sigh … sniff sniff …….

*Reply by Mr. Django Yifu on September 6, 2008 at 9:41pm
Yum yum! Chicken soup! My favorite after cake!

*Reply by DreddPirateBob on September 7, 2008 at 11:24am
you could blend them, chicken cake soup!

we’re gonna be rich!

*Reply by Skusting Dagger on September 7, 2008 at 11:30am
Learn how to fold it and you’ll be even richer!

*Reply by Ceejay Writer on September 6, 2008 at 9:43pm
How very considerate of you both! Chicken soup can cure almost anything! I hope he feels much better soon.

 

 

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