Archivist note: This article is from an older recovered archive and might be obsolete or in need of updating.
Most recent revision is shown below, by Galactic Baroque.
Songs and poems of New Babbage
Many citizens feel compelled to immortalise the City and the adventures of its inhabitants in poetry and song.
Here are some of their fine works.
==Captain’s Personal Log–Musings in Blank Verse==
”Posted by Zachary Somerset on April 24, 2009”
((Drat it, Miss Ceejay, this is your fault! You got iambic pentameter stuck in my brain, and now I can’t get it out of my system. But don’t expect all of my blog entries to be in blank verse from now on! *rolling eyes*))
I stand at guard and watch My Lady sleep
While waiting for the slow-awakening dawn,
The silent herald of another day
Spent wondering if this shall be the one,
The fateful morn or evening when he comes.
Will I be vigilant enough to ward
My Lady from his foul attack? I know
I cannot drop my guard, yet I grow tired
Of waiting. Should I go to him,
Th’offensive take, and lay her fears to rest?
Yet if I fall, and he prevails, what then?
I know not, cannot take the awful risk.
And so I stand and wait for morning light,
Preparing for the day when I must fight.
”’Comment by Ceejay Writer on April 24, 2009 at 3:09pm”’
I take the full blame if it means such pretty verse comes to existence! Well done, sir! I’m a bit melty at the protective and romantic nature of this prose, indeed. Sigh. Lovely, lovely. Your Lady is very luck!
”’Comment by Zachary Somerset on April 24, 2009 at 3:23pm”’
”carefully neutral expression”
Just doing my job, Miss Ceejay.
((OOC from Typist: Your job involves writing mushy poetry in your log? Riiiight. Whatever gets you through the day, Zac. *smirk!*))
==The Twelve Days Of Christmas, Babbage Style==
”Posted by Ceejay Writer on December 22, 2008”
On the twelfth day of Christmas
New Babbage sent to me:
Twelve Burning Buildings
Eleven Doctors Quacking
Ten Urchins Stinking
Nine Pirates Pillaging
Eight Ironclads Firing
Seven Drunks a Staggering
Six Villains Scheming
Five Brassy Rings!
Four Threats from Bob
Two Cuckoo Twins
and a Cartridge in Babbage Square, flee!
(heh, sorry, I had to.)
==Twas The Night Before A New Babbage Christmas==
”Posted by Mr Salazar Jack on December 3, 2009”
”’Twas The Night Before A New Babbage Christmas”’
”by Mr Salazar Jack”
”Adapted from “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore.”
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the city
Not a creature was stirring, not even a kitty.
The stockings were hung by each stovepipe with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
The urchins were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
And the Clockwinder, resting from Underby’s trap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the cobbles there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my cot to see what was the matter.
To the Steamworks’ first floor I flew with fleet feet,
Out through the front door and into the street.
The wind blowing briskly did little to muffle
What the street lamp revealed as the source of the scuffle.
When, what to my wondering eyes did it show,
But a wayward green trolley, wheels deep in the snow.
With her little old boiler, belching smoke pea soup thick,
I knew in a moment I had to be quick!
The coals from her fire in danger of dousing,
Could be saved if the trolley succumbed to some rousing.
“Now Trolley!,” I said as I ran up the street,
Knee deep in the snow to this car I would meet,
“You must get back in line with your rails on the track
Put this stumble behind you, and never look back.”
“New Babbage is counting on you to keep steaming,
Keep your coal fire burning, keep your beaming light beaming!”
But now with her wheels axle-deep in the snow,
Though she wanted to move, she just couldn’t go.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the street
The stepping and clomping of many-sized feet.
The citizens of Babbage had heard the loud din,
And donned jackets and scarves as the sound drew them in.
Each gentleman, lady, urchin and beast,
From north and from south, from west and from east,
Slowly walked toward the trolley still stuck in the snow,
How to right the stuck trolley? They didn’t quite know.
Mr Underby chanted, incanted and spelled
But results for his mystic charms never quite gelled.
Lady Breezy, her skirt twirling mad in the gale,
Tapped her bumpershoot’s tip on the car’s snowy wale.
Loki and Myrtil and Skyler and Jimmy,
Tried to wedge a small board ’neath the axle so primmy.
They huffed, and they puffed, then they started to pout,
When they realized the trolley might never get out.
That’s when Clockwinder Tenk, a right thoughtful old gnome,
Thought he’d figured a way for the car to head home.
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He reached down with his hammer, then his pipewrench instead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Feeling deep for the valve, which he turned with a jerk.
And with nary a stain nor a spot on his clothes,
The steam from the sewer pipe rose! Yes! It rose!
With the snow melting quickly from her wheels, I could tell
That our trolley was free! And she rang her strong bell.
Then we said, to each other, as we set things all right,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”
”’Comment by Caesar Osterham on December 4, 2009 at 11:24am”’
My hat is off to you, sir. This is a truly delightful take on the poem . . . and the difficulties with the trolley, too.
Hip, hip, huzzah!
”’Ceejay Writer Comment by Ceejay Writer on December 4, 2009 at 1:24pm”’
Mr. Jack, on behalf of the Primgraph staff, might I seek permission to re-print this on the Primgraph Aetheric Log? And use your charming picture of the trolley’s misplaced nap with it? Full credit of course.
”Mr Salazar Jack Comment by Mr Salazar Jack on December 4, 2009 at 1:42pm”
Miss Ceejay, I’m honored to be asked by the Staff
Of the wonderfully enchanting Aetheric Primgraph
To include this short work, I will gladly say, “Aye!”
But with one caveat, and I’ll soon tell you why.
While reading through once and then twice and then thrice,
I noticed some wording that wasn’t quite nice.
So I fixed Lady Breezy’s attempt to lend aid,
And I think that the prose is now much more well made.
So grab a fresh copy and try not to laugh
As you paste this short story into the Primgraph
My thanks go to you and your staff for this deed
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good read!
==And now…a haiku==
”by Sylvie Franizzi on January 28, 2009”
A tired visage
Explosives are like playthings
Always fearing soap
*bows* Thank you!
Donations are appreciated. Please make checks payable to the Bathe a Bob Foundation.
”’Comment by Ghilayne Andrew on January 29, 2009 at 10:45am”’
Limericks definitely aren’t my strong point.
There once was a young boy named Bob,
Who spent all his days on the dodge,
Carousing and partaking gin,
What a filthy state he is in,
But won’t bathe ’cause “I ain’t no nob.”
”’DreddPirateBob Comment by DreddPirateBob on January 29, 2009 at 12:55pm”’
Shall i compare thee to a summers day?
only if its a hot day
and your standing near manure
and a dead rat
and its too bloody hot and theres lots of flies
”’Comment by Ceejay Writer on January 29, 2009 at 1:14pm”’
”sniffles and dabs eyes with a lace hankie”
That was beautiful Bob, truly touching. *swats a fly*
”’Comment by Sylvie Franizzi on January 29, 2009 at 1:21pm”’
Bob, truly you have a gift. How is it that we are just now discovering the emotional depth that is DreddPirateBob Streeter?
”’Comment by DreddPirateBob on January 29, 2009 at 1:24pm”’
COZ YOU DON”T EVER LISTEN! sheesh…
”’Comment by Sylvie Franizzi on January 29, 2009 at 1:28pm”’
Sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn’t listening.
==Happy Second Rezzday, Clockwinder==
”Posted by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 10:58am”
Wherein Let It Be Known….
Today, May 21, is the Clockwinder’s second rezzday.
Today, May 21, the Clockwinder does not seem to be at hand.
Today, May 21, we could fill this discussion with poetry, unsolvable math riddles, gnome fashion advice, and lists of dairy farms with poor security.
Later, Not-May 21, he will find this Discussion and deport me to a High Security Zyngo Parlor for life.
I’m willing to risk it. Are you? Let the games begin.
”’Reply by Penelope Strathearn on May 21, 2009 at 11:25am”’
Well, in that case, maybe I should buy him this to stand outside his office door in the new City Hall. (Be sure to view all pictures, not just the one on the main page.) Only problem is, it doesn’t dispense milk, and while the product it parodies certainly qualifies as late Victorian, the styling on this particular object isn’t exactly steampunk. But grungy…oh yes, it’s definitely grungy enough for Babbage…. *smirk*
”’Reply by Doctor Obolensky on May 21, 2009 at 11:39am”’
”image: a front and back of a ten dollar bill with tenk’s photo pasted in”
In honor of Mister Tenk’s rezday, I give you a tenner. Or maybe it’s a tenker.
”’Edward Pearse, Duke of Argylle on May 21, 2009 at 11:12pm”’
Definitely need to see those around New Babbage!
Mayorial slush fund.
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 21, 2009 at 11:47am”’
Th’ mayor fell down on his knees
and moaning, he said with a wheeze;
“My milk has gone wrong,
I left it too long!
For now it has turned into cheese.”
”’Reply by Genie on May 21, 2009 at 11:52am”’
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 11:52am”’
Awesome offerings so far, gang! *spends the tenker on fripperies*
”’Reply by Genie on May 21, 2009 at 11:59am”’
Mr. Tenk, we love you so,
And on this day of days,
We really, truly wish you would
Just give yourself a raise.
Take the 0 Lindens for your time,
And the Lindens urchins filch,
Multiply it all by nine,
And you’re still earning ZILCH!
”’Reply by Elilka Sieyes on May 21, 2009 at 1:03pm”’
For those tiresome state occasions…
”insert photo of top hat with 3 milk bottles attached with dangling sippy tube”
…the Milk Bottle Topper ;)
”’Reply by Tinus Koskinen on May 21, 2009 at 9:07pm”’
Now this is a practical gift for our fine Mayor…Cheers for Mr. Tenk, perhaps we will find him “resting” near a hearth tonight.
”’Reply by Katri Kaligawa on May 21, 2009 at 1:30pm”’
Something I drew on the cover of my notebook a few weeks ago…didn’t get to finish it, but here it is, anyway :D
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 1:36pm”’
You’re all so talented! Milktopper hats, poetry, artwork! Keep it coming! I’ll toss this in for the moment, and I hope for some poetic inspiration before day’s end, too.
”YouTube video:” “Clocks” Not by Coldplay, but my favored version by Twelve Girls Band.
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 21, 2009 at 2:10pm”’
Ooo, I like that! I’m usually wary o’ remakes, but this is one that I wholeheartedly approve. Now I need t’see if I can find more o’ their music.
((Although this particular song reminds me of my old apartment neighbor, who would play the Coldplay version no less than three times every day, almost always exactly at 6:00pm.))
”’Reply by Breezy Carver on May 21, 2009 at 3:13pm”’
The German Clockwinder
(an old irish fable folk song :) )
A German clockwinder to Dublin once came,
Mosseveno Tenk was the old German’s name,
And while he was winding his way ’round the land
He played on his flute and the music was grand!
Toora lumma lumma toora lumma lumma toora-li-ay
Toora-li oora-li oora-li-ay
Toora lumma lumma toora lumma lumma toora-li-ay
Toora-li oora-li oora-li-ay
There was a young lady from Merrion Square
Who said that her clock was in need of repair.
Well, in came that German, and to her delight
In less than five minutes, he’d wound her up tight!
Well, then there they were, sitting down on the floor,
Then came a very loud knock at the door –
In came her husband and great was his shock
To see that old German wind up his wife’s clock!
Then said her husband,”Now, my dear Mary Ann,
Don’t let that old German come in here again!
Your clock’s wound up tight while mine sits on the shelf –
If your old clock needs winding, I’ll wind it myself!”
Happy 2nd Rez Day !!
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 21, 2009 at 3:16pm”’
”has died laughing*” Does anybody else think we need a Babbagés Folk Music Appreciation Society?
”’Reply by Viv Trafalgar on May 21, 2009 at 3:58pm”’
there once was a hob from new babbage
who folks said smelt rather like cabbage
he wound up the clocks
and wore the same socks
(day after day after day)
and wouldn’t put up with much blabbage
(doesn’t beat danny kaye, milk bottles, bills, or 12 girls, but what could?
”’Reply by Jimmy Branagh on May 21, 2009 at 4:27pm”’
Happy Rez Dye Mr. Clockwinder!
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 4:36pm”’
There once was a little Clockwinder
Who looked gruff but couldn’t be kinder.
Now Sir, it’s your rezzday,
Raise a glass of bad milk-whey
And I won’t even smack your behinder!
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 4:49pm”’
You all rock. Seriously. EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
I haven’t seen any unsolvable math puzzles yet! Come on, let’s kick it up a notch!
”’Reply by Doctor Obolensky on May 21, 2009 at 4:53pm”’
Given that X=Y(M*2 + E(42)) and that Mary Ann > Ginger, where’s my cane?
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 4:55pm”’
/me high fives you.
”’Reply by Capt. Red Llewellyn on May 21, 2009 at 5:31pm”’
Happy Rez Day, Mr. Tenk!
”photo: large glass and bottle of milk”
(grumbles) though Rum would taste better…pity it curdles the moo juice.
”’Reply by Softpaw on May 21, 2009 at 5:59pm”’
He’d like it that way though…
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 21, 2009 at 11:02pm”’
Rum-spiked milk! Ye’ve invented a new drink, Red! Just add some ice and call it a Clockwinder.
”’Reply by Elina Koskinen on May 22, 2009 at 5:04am”’
Have you never tasted a drink called White Russian? :D
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 22, 2009 at 12:48pm”’
Ye can keep your nasty vodka. It’s rum for me, or beer in a pinch.
”’Edward Pearse, Duke of Argylle on May 21, 2009 at 11:09pm”’
The Prime Miniature has had to go away for a few days a little note sent to me says. So you should enjoy your last weekend Miss Ceejay :-)
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 21, 2009 at 11:19pm”’
I’ll do my best to go out in grand style!
”’Reply by Penelope Strathearn on May 22, 2009 at 1:07am”’
“The Prime Miniature”….*copious giggles*
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 21, 2009 at 11:15pm”’
Quantities for one drink:
* 2 oz Light or White Rum
* 1 Cup Milk (fresh or soured to taste)
* 1 tsp Powdered Sugar
* 1/4 tsp Vanilla Extract
* Nutmeg or Babbage Grit for flavor
* Shake all ingredients (except flavoring) with ice and strain into a Collins glass
* Sprinkle nutmeg or grit on top and serve with small paper parasol or gear-topped swizzle stick, according to the tastes of the imbiber.
”’Reply by Mr. Tenk on May 24, 2009 at 10:12am”’
((its better with scotch, leave out the sugar and vanilla. yes, i used to drink it, and ask for it at bars))
”’Reply by Aeolus Cleanslate on May 22, 2009 at 2:46am”’
According to reputable sources (okay, a Google search), May 21 also happens to be:
– National Strawberries ‘n Cream Day
– The day the American Red Cross was established in the U.S. (in 1881, no less, which just
”happens”to be the current year in New Babbage), and
– National Waitstaff Day (everyone knows Tenk is a big tipper).
COINCIDENCE?! You decide!
His May 21 rezday also makes Tenk a Taurus. One description I read says that Tauruses (Tauri?) are “down to earth, pragmatic, (and) will stubbornly pursue a task to completion without deviation once [given] the impetus to get going (which may take a while).” Works for me.
Happy Birthday, Clockwinder!
”’Reply by Capt. Red Llewellyn on May 24, 2009 at 11:05am”’
(([grins and adds impishly] May 21 also happened to be my RL b-day! and i consider myself on the cusp of gemini & taurus! but thanks Ae for that interesting list! ))
”’Reply by Cadmus Lupindo on May 22, 2009 at 7:11am”’
I am a day late in wishing you a happy Rez day.
So the drinks are on me Clockwinder.
Kefir and Kumis.
”’Reply by Edward Pearse, Duke of Argylle on May 22, 2009 at 11:19am”’
”image of tenk with a photoshopped milk mustache and the catch-phrase GOT MILK?”
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 22, 2009 at 11:33am”’
EXCELLENT. With luck, our aging Clockwinder will see this and deport YOU, Edward, and forget all about me.
”’Reply by Breezy Carver on May 22, 2009 at 12:17pm”’
laughs @ Edward and the Captain .. (( ewwww)) !
”’Reply by Marion Questi on May 23, 2009 at 12:08am”’
A tomte wound clocks in our city
‘Twas hard work, and dirty and gritty
But he labored in vain–
Got no milk for his pain–
And the anger he felt wasn’t pretty.
He’d climbed all the clocktowers tall
And wound every clock big and small.
Since we gave him no milk,
As is wont of his ilk,
He vowed his revenge on us all.
At election he stood to be mayor
And he promised he’d always be fair.
Though he knew just the same
That revenge was his aim
And the voters were quite unaware.
The race was a close one I’m told.
To the winner the city was sold.
When the voting was done,
It was clear he had won.
“Now I’ll drink all the milk I can hold!”
Now strange are the ways of the fey
For you know that a tomte would say
That scotch whisky neat
Isn’t nearly as sweet
As warm milk with a chaser of whey.
While yet hailed as the man of the hour,
He decided to delegate power.
And so our fair city
Was run by committee
While he hoarded the milk in his tower!
The fruits of his victory he swilled
By the gallon–and not even chilled!
In addiction’s enslavement
He slept on the pavement
Some feared the poor tomte’d been killed!
No one knows what has made him recover,
Whether prayers or the help of a lover.
But of this I am sure
He has found his own cure
Moderation was his to discover.
Now I passed him today in the square
And he’s looking quite sober, I’ll swear.
For the proof I would reckon-
It’s his rez day the second-
And all that he wants is a chair.
Happy Rez Day, my dear friend.
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 23, 2009 at 11:06pm”’
”applauds” Bravo! That’s th’ best I’ve heard!
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 24, 2009 at 4:07am”’
Truly amazing! Mister Questi, I am astounded!
”’Reply by Mr. Tenk on May 24, 2009 at 10:29am”’
i would not have found this thread at all if Ceejay had not made this reply. Suppose i should show you where i was….
”youTube video of the tall ship Kalmar Nyckel, which is the reason Tenk disappears in summer so he can go crew”
”’Reply by Katherine Montpark on May 24, 2009 at 11:40am”’
((*is promptly and ragingly jealous*))
”’Reply by Marion Questi on May 24, 2009 at 12:32pm”’
Oh, you lucky dog! (Sea dog, that is.)
”’Reply by Ceejay Writer on May 24, 2009 at 1:20pm”’
Wonderful! The video whetted my interest. It’s a bit grainy and I wanted to know more. So I just had a nice wallow here. http://www.kalmarnyckel.org/
I think we can all forgive you for utterly abandoning us, for such a nice adventure.
(Now, go back and read all four pages of comments here. The town is surging with love for you. Or insanity. Or heartburn. Something.)
”’Reply by Aeolus Cleanslate on May 24, 2009 at 12:27pm”’
/me is slackjawed
”’Reply by Breezy Carver on May 24, 2009 at 2:08pm”’
”hugs” to and for the true heart of that ship !!
((ToolBox indeed ))
”’Reply by Mr. Tenk on May 24, 2009 at 3:55pm”’
yes, we have a cat
”’Reply by Cadmus Lupindo on May 24, 2009 at 4:08pm”’
What! A cat on a ship? That is bad luck Sir. It is bad luck to have cats, women, or Vicars on board at Sea. Unless it is a black cat. Black cats are lucky on a ship.