Archivist note: This article is from an older recovered archive and might be obsolete or in need of updating.
Most recent revision is shown below, by Bookworm.
”’Me Statement ta th’ Militia ((Murder Mystery Part II))”’
I’m ‘ere rottin’ away in a warm jail cell while DeFaw’s real killer’s still ou’ there. I’d like at ge’ ou’ o’ ‘ere an’ find tha’ person, shake ‘is or ‘er ‘and for doin’ what I didn’ ‘ave th’ guts ta do, kill tha’ awful DeFaw. Instead I’m stuck in ‘ere. A nice, warm, cell. Guess it’s no’ all bad, eh? I didn’ kill DeFaw’s wha’ I’m tryin’ ta say. I ‘ad reason, aye, I did ‘ave reason. ‘E was threatnin’ ta take me back ta th’ Orphanage, said ‘e’ll deal wit’ me good an’ proper when we get back ta there. I wasn’ goin’ back, no way no bloody ‘ow, so I said ta him, I did, “I’ll bloody kill ya first before I let ya drag me back ta tha’ Orphanage.”
I bloody screamed it, I did. Bu’ ‘ere’s th’ thing, I didn’ kill him. I ‘member watchin’ Gil run off. I ‘member askin’ DeFaw wha’ ‘e done with me mate Timothy, figurin’ this is why I couldn’ find ‘im anywhere, an’ tha’ evil bloke told me ‘e killed him. ‘Im an’ Miss Jaggernot beat ‘im ta death. I started yellin’ some more, threatnin’ ta kill him, I was goin’ ta do it to… bu’ I stopped meself, I turned an’ walked away… Only ta ‘ear a scream seconds later.
I turned back around an’ saw ‘im layin’ on th’ ground in a pool o’ blood. I…ran up ta ‘im, grabbed ‘is bloodied ‘ead wit’ me good arm an’ whispered ta ‘im “You go’ what you disserved ya filthy jerk.” Blood dripped off ‘is ‘ead an’ onto me shirt an’ jacket, me arm was bloody, ‘is blood covered me arm an’ shirt, an’ trousers.
I was a righ’ mess. O’ course I ‘ad ta inform Mr. Wiggly Underfone or wha’ever ‘is name is, so I ran all th’ way ta th’ Militia ‘Eadquarters an’ started yellin’ about DeFaw gettin’ ‘urt. I told ‘im ‘e was ‘urt righ’ badly, I musta sounded like a bloody fool as badly as I was talkin’. They prob’ly though’ I was a nutter. Bu’ I swear ta you I didn’ kill ‘im, I didn’ kill DeFaw, an’ I don’ belong in this jail cell, no ma’er ‘ow warm it is, I don’ belong ‘ere.
I will say this, DeFaw was an evil bloke, ‘e disserved wha’ ‘e go’, an’ I’m no’ scared ta say tha’. Defaw go’ wha’ ‘e ‘ad comin’ for a long bloomin’ time. I jus’ couldn’ bring meself ta do wha’ th’ real killer did. Good on ‘im or ‘er for doin’ tha’. Bloody ‘ell I ‘ate this, Th’ bobbies accuse me o’ something I didn’ do. I didn’ kill ‘im, I swear to it. We was arguing righ’ awful. So loud I reck’n th’ dead woke up. ‘E said “One way or th’ other, BOY, you’re goin’ back ta tha’ Orphanage…tonight.” Me response was simple.
“I’ll bloody kill ya first before ya drag me back ta tha’ awful place. I swear ta it, I will bloody kill ya!” Bu’ c’mon, ‘ow many people threaten ta kill someone even though they really won’? I’m no’ th’ only one, am I? I knew me arguing was getting ou’ o’ ‘and, so I turned an’ walked away, I did… an’ th’ scream… something awful, it was. I turned, saw ‘im layin’ there in blood… cor tha’ was awful. I ‘ated ‘im, I did, bu’ I would ne’er actually kill ‘im… no bloody way I would. No bloody way. I wish tha’ filthy Bobbie would believe me.
==Comments (Page 1)==
*Comment by Stargirl Macbain on November 30, 2009 at 1:06am
I know you wouldn’t do it, Sky. If it comes down to it I promise I’ll spring you and we’ll go on the lamb.
*Comment by Cadmus Lupindo on November 30, 2009 at 2:45am
*Comment by Skyler ‘Artful Dodger’ Gant on November 30, 2009 at 3:04am
Oh go jump in a bloody lake ya ol’ grump. I ain’ killed no one.
*Comment by Tepic Harlequin on November 30, 2009 at 3:16am
The cell was warm…. an you got fed proper…… then you escaped even though ya done nothing..? It’s cold out here Skyler, an there ain’t enough voles in the traps anymore to make a proper feed…. Tepic thinks carefully about the merits of jail
*Comment by Skyler ‘Artful Dodger’ Gant on November 30, 2009 at 3:39am
I go’ me ‘ideout’s mate. An’ a righ’ clever disguise, I say. Don’ think anyone’s goin’ ta recognize me. Prays they don’t
*Comment by Grendel Footman on November 30, 2009 at 8:49am
I’m sure it wasn’t Skyler, as obnoxious a little @%$! as he can be, why would he murder with a brick, when he usually carries a gun on him?
*Comment by Stargirl Macbain on November 30, 2009 at 10:30am
Oh! Grendel has an excellent point, he pulled that gun on me once himself…fortunately he wasn’t feeling trigger-happy that day…
*Comment by Mr Underby on December 1, 2009 at 10:49am
Very interesting, though somewhat difficult to read. A question, somewhat off topic… would someone with a Cockney accent actually *write* in such a manner? Dropping H’s and whatnot? Speaking is certainly one thing, but even when written in statements and journals?
*Comment by Blackberry Harvey on December 1, 2009 at 11:49am
Perhaps he was dictating…?
*Comment by Mr Underby on December 1, 2009 at 11:59am
Ah, good point.
==Comments (Page 2)==
*Comment by Stargirl Macbain on December 1, 2009 at 12:14pm
That was my thought, Mr Harvey, I can’t imagine many of these urchins can write…someone ought to teach them though.
*Comment by Ceejay Writer on December 1, 2009 at 12:24pm
((for what it’s worth, I RP’d for two solid years in a livejournal based game, pitted against a French sheepherder who wrote/spoke in the most abominable accent EVER. After a while, I got used to it, and eventually found it very charming. Most of us avoid Voice, so words are our tools to get everything across. I personally applaud those who manage a fun accent.))
*Comment by Cadmus Lupindo on December 1, 2009 at 12:34pm
((I was thinking the same thing Stargirl. I know some of the urchins are illiterate.))
*Comment by Stargirl Macbain on December 1, 2009 at 12:39pm
((Oh lord Cadmus and Star’s “we aren’t up to anything we swear we are just doing a little charity work” school for Urchins))
*Comment by Skyler ‘Artful Dodger’ Gant on December 1, 2009 at 8:23pm
To answer Underby, If the posts of mine are like this one, dropping’s H’s and what not, it’s more him Dictating, of course even in notes or journal’s I tend to write like this. I know it’s hard to read but… I guess when one get’s in character, and his character’s got an accent, it’s hard to not type like that when you’re writing something. I don’t know. Good question.
*Comment by Ceejay Writer on December 1, 2009 at 8:42pm
I guess when one get’s in character, and his character’s got an accent, it’s hard to not type like that when you’re writing something.
There’s the heart of it, folks. His character’s calling the shots. He’s immersed and in the moment. This writer approves.
*Comment by Mr Underby on December 1, 2009 at 9:10pm
No no, don’t get me wrong, I love the accent… Just isn’t the easiest to read always. Not a problem at all.
*Comment by Skyler ‘Artful Dodger’ Gant on December 2, 2009 at 1:40am
I agree 100% Underby, It can be hard to read, I find myself having difficulties with other character’s posts on ning. Of course it’s interesting to try and pick up on what that character’s accent could be from. Like Ceejay said, My character’s calling the shots. I am immersed and in the moment. She couldn’t have said it better herself. I thank you for liking the accent though. :).
*Comment by Tepic Harlequin on December 2, 2009 at 2:48am
We ain’t illiterate, Mr Lupindo, Sir, we just don’t always know who our parents were…..
*Comment by Skyler ‘Artful Dodger’ Gant on December 2, 2009 at 4:07pm
What Tep said.