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Archivist note: This article is from an older recovered archive and might be obsolete or in need of updating.

Most recent revision is shown below, by Lopxie.

”A page from the diary of Miss Lo Pixie Artful”

June 2, 188x

dear little diary,

i have had a most frightful row with stepfather, rather!… he quite disapproves of my starting a revolutionary protest movement… he sees it as outright political insurrection… tho’ in a proper democrary, i rather believe it is not!

i bumped into him outside the hospital, and he said rudely, “o, it is you, the traitor!…” and i was rather taken aback, and dismayed, and then quite, quite furious! and then he said i ought to be hanged from a lamp post, for turning from my own city, rather, which made me cross even moreso!

and i said to him, with fire and patriotism flowing through my veins, “i am always, always loyal to babbage!”

“o, indeed?” he said…

“yes,” i went on hurriedly, “and that is rather more than i may say for you!” remembering all his dreadful misdeeds against the town before christmas…

“is that a fact?” he murmured smugly, yet with malice and ill-contained fury gleaming in his horrid goatlike eyes.

“yes!” i said triumphantly, for my dander was up, rather, and then i said… quite devastatingly, i think… “and what is more, you are truly an awful stepfather!”

there! i said it finally, and tho’ i was shaking, i felt rather unburdened at last! and as i span on me heel and strode away, with my head held high in self-possessed dignity in spite of the tears springing unbidden to my eyes… he retorted, in tones of utter contempt and frustration i suppose, “i am nothing to you, child!.. do you hear me? nothing!”

…and i shot back over my shoulder, quick as a flash, “quite!…” for it was true, rather!.. and then i stuck my tongue out, for good measure.

ugh! he is such a dreadful pig! it is not enough for him that i warned everyone in babbage of his return, all those months ago… if he did not want me to spread fear among the populace as to his dreaded nature, then what else could he possibly want of me?… disciplined and properly civilised behaviour?… then he rather ought to be a role model!

i daresay underby is rather jealous, actually, that he has not the same esteemed company as i enjoy… wonderful folk like tepic, zaida, myrtle, tatsuya and gilhooly have all joined the urchin resistance… tepic is setting up his camp as our base, rather… and miss scarlet, miss ying, and mister beck of steelhead all expressed their sympathies… perhaps they may join too, as honorary urchins! it is awfully thrilling!

and then i served croissants at mother’s bakery to mister clowes and to mister kuroe, whom is newly automaton of leg and is released on bail pending execution, it seems… i am growing up in interesting times, indeed!


Mr Underby commented
Shouldn’t that man be under LOCK AND KEY?

Scarlet Jaggernov commented
Oooh, bring me a sticky bun please Mr Kuroe! Good to see you out and about!

Mr Underby commented
So, another traitor.

Scarlet Jaggernov commented
But… I want a sticky bun!

Stargirl Macbain commented
Lo! How could you? That man burned down a building with one of my employees INSIDE OF IT! You’re very lucky poor Maggie wasn’t around to see you letting him in! The poor dear would be terrified! I’m terribly dissapointed, dear. Terribly. I thought you were smarter than this….

Victor commented
If anyone should be under lock and key it should be you old streaky bonehea….i mean Mr Underby…

Mr Underby commented
And, pray tell, what for Mr Mornington?

Stargirl Macbain commented
Impersonating a government official?

Mr Underby commented
Untrue, I merely stated that I advise the mayor. Which is true, from a certain point of view.

Victor commented
…for subversion, wreckless use of arcane occult macic stuff, raising the dead…ohhh and what stargirl said…

Mr Underby commented
Subversion? Of what sort?

And I am a mere fortune teller, why should that be against the law? And raising the dead, are you serious sir? Have you been imbibing laudanum?

Grendel Footman commented
you know, not that I take Underby’s side or anything, but really, haven’t we all made the common mistake of raising the dead before? don’t cast the first stone to the head and all that…anybody? *hears crickets and shuts up*

Gabriell Anatra commented
I have never raised the dead. With magic or science, at least. Though there was that time I tried to sing . .

LoPixie Artful commented
(timidly) miss star?… i have come to apologise, rather… i only wondered if a taste of freedom and sticky bun may perhaps change mister kuroe’s mind about exploding things!.. after all, mother’s recipes do seem to make folk a little misty eyed…

Ryne Beck commented
Miss Star, the patient (and accused) was under my watchful eye the whole time. Both I & Dr Mason have taken the decision that for his new leg to ‘take’ successfully Mr Kuroe will need exercise. I can assure you and all of New Babbage these perambulations will not occur without a chaperone.

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