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What Every Zombie Needs!

Are you one of the walking dead? Do you crave the taste of brains? Ol’ Doc Emerson’s Brain Suppressant Tonic may be just what you are looking for. Why chase after the living who are invariably going to beat you to a pulp with cricket bats or shoot you between the eyes without so much as a second thought. One swig of Ol’ Doc Emerson’s Brain Suppressant Tonic and you’ll be content to just wander around the streets in gangrenous bliss. What are you waiting for? Pick up your bottle today. It’’s a no brainer.

Product may be found in a crate outside the Asylum in Wheatstone at the incredibly low price of 10 quatloos per bottle. That’s right; only 10 quatloos per bottle. Payment on the honour system. Please wash your coins.

***The fine print section***

Side effects may include, but are not limited to: bloating, belching of noxious gas, tremendous flatulence, loss of limb, loss of hair, cravings for sausages wrapped in pancakes and dipped in chocolate sauce, flights of philosophical fancy, uncontrollable giggling, tooth decay, bilious vomits and Montezuma’s revenge.

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  1. Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs October 12, 2012

    Gah! Now I’m craving sausages wrapped in pancakes and dipped in chocolate sauce, and I haven’t even drunk your concoction!

  2. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon October 12, 2012

    Enable imagination mode!

    Paaaaancakes… Paaaaancakes… BLuUUUuuUuUuUUUggGGGGGGgggg! Paaaancakes…

    Hmm… with all the gas, had best not let them get too close to a naked flame or…

    PHOOOOOM! Paaaaaaaaaannnncaaaakesssss….. *zombie flies over the rooftops*

    Imagination mode off!

  3. Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger October 12, 2012

    Bilious Vomits? Didn’t he used to live down past the Bucket?

  4. Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg October 12, 2012

    “Gangrenous bliss!”

    *wonders if her co-workers are suspicious of all the laughter over here*

  5. Delta Sweetwater Delta Sweetwater October 12, 2012

    What kind of man must someone be to try to profit from the undead directly like that? I am also not sure if zombies even carry wallets……

    • The Undertaker The Undertaker October 12, 2012

      It fills a need.

      I would gladly donate coin to supply the undead with a formulary that renders them placid. It makes burial (and reburial) so much less troublesome.

    • Petharic Petharic October 12, 2012

      Touché, Mr. Sweetwater, touché indeed.


  6. M. Canergak M. Canergak October 12, 2012

    Ignore the help, Dr. Emerson.  I wish to see your medical expertise for myself.

  7. Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold October 12, 2012

    …well at least it’s an improvement over shooting them all.  I have to give you credit for that Emerson…

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse October 12, 2012

      I never said I wasn’t going to shoot them.


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