Ladies and gentlemen, citizen of New Babbage, unsuspecting visitors, travellers and about anyone setting foot on the streets of our City, here is a word of warning :
You are used to deal with nice well-behaved street urchins who greet you and smile and help you around with only a “thank you” as a reward?
Well those times are over.
New Babbage is not a safe town and its streets are not buzzing with well-fed happy children. We are starving, we are dirty, we carry fleas and lice, and we spend our days fighting to survive.
We will from now on be back to our old ways, which means you might someday cross our path and notice after turning the corner that your wallet has vanished. You might see us beg for money, sell matches or roses, and busk in front of the Excelsior.
We’re also open to discuss all kinds of discutably legal affairs. We don’t say nothing, we’re fast and know our way around town. Just think about it!
As a final note, please be aware that if you have been mugged, that was nothing personal against you. We can very well like you a lot and find you nice, but we’ll still nick your pocket watch.
That being said, enjoy your day Misses and Sirs!
Yep, an there ain’t a big, disused, half ruined factory down by the Peirmount, an it ain’t used ter store any stuff as yer might want ter keep hidden from them as don’t need to know….. There is access for canal boats….. Rates are reasonable… just rates in general, not those fer storing any dodgy gear, cus we don’t know nuffin bout that sort of stuff….
thank the builder, myrtil is back! i thought i was going to have to send you lot to the salt mines to toughen you up after all that coddling you were getting.
salt mines? salt mines! where’d yer get an idea like that! Anyhows, i don’t have no fleas, ‘m a clean fox i is, an anyhow, there’s this patch of weeds outside the walls, gets all dusty, an if yer goes rollin in em, the fleas all keels over……… (pybuthrin powder!)
“New Babbage is not a safe town” no it is not safe.
Maybe that should be the city’s motto?
Or at least posted on signs at all the city’s approaches?