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Thoughts After A Walkabout

Diary entry after returning to her cottage deep in the Steelhead Nevermoor Woods.

Considering my apprehension, I think last night’s walkabout in the old city went well enough. The streets seemed bumpier, the air more deeply chilled, the… well, everything had a sharp edge to it.  Even though I know nothing has changed, and it is my own perceptions. 

Sharp edges are most noticeable to those with soft exteriors, and I know I have grown soft, sensitive, and apt to shrink into the shadows so much more easily than in years past.  Truly, I cannot tell if New Babbage changed in my absence, or if it was just I. Though, I think it may be both.   Shadows seemed darker and longer, voices carrying in the night air were shriller, and I swear I got goosebumps walking through Palisade, the neighborhood that held my deepest memories and security.

Much has changed – yet still more remains the same.  Time does not stand still, and especially not in a city where time is tended to so lovingly. This notion does bring a wonderment to mind, though.  In my long night walk, I did not catch so much as a glimpse of the clockwinder going about his nightly errand. People change – that is a given.  But clocks should not. I sense much is amiss deep in the springs and escapements of the City.  And when a clock keeps bad time – everyone behaves badly.

Or maybe it is simply the opium talking. I will return again, if I can manage to wake before noon, perhaps I will see if the city looks differently under the thin sunlight that pierces the haze when it can. 

But for now I must sleep, I am dearly exhausted.

(Small note: In RL a longstanding committment has been seen through to its end, and I am re-adjusting to a life with possibly more time and less sadness. My leaving Babbage was due to a need to emotionally adjust my SL to more easily be coped with by my RL. But things are ever in change, and as I re-invent my virtual diversions, we will see where they lead.  I appreciate the patience my friends have extended me, more grateful than you will ever know.)

 

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7 Comments

  1. Blackberry Harvey Blackberry Harvey July 14, 2011

    If you ever feel up to a return to cafe ownership, I’ve been keeping it in good shape in your absence!

  2. Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs July 14, 2011

    ((While I hope that your re-invention leads you to New Babbage more, my greater hope is that it leads you to happiness, wherever that may be. *hugs*))

  3. Bianca Namori Bianca Namori July 14, 2011

    ((I adore you Ceejay and I’m glad life is turning better for you my dearest!))

  4. Wiggy Undertone Wiggy Undertone July 14, 2011

    CeeJay!  So good to hear from you! Thank you for sharing a bit of what you have been going through.   I’ve had to walk a similar path I think.  I do hope that you will be able to find much more happiness now as I am trying to do the same.

  5. Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer July 14, 2011

    ((for clarification on some things, my mother in law passed away in her sleep Sunday morning, after a very, very, very long time of various illnesses.  I’ve learned more about eldercare and elderlaw than I ever thought I would.  *Wry grin*.  The funeral was yesterday, culminating 4 days of a lot of work and family time. And very little sleep.  The rest of this week I will be trying to get un-exhausted, and am slowly recalling what life is like when one is not spending half their time seeing to another persons needs. I’m still feeling like ‘I’m not allowed’ to goof off or pursue my own interests… wrong I know but it takes adjustment!    As for returning to Babbage, or taking back the CocoaJava – both interest me, as I have loved Babbage since I first stepped foot on that oily soil in Summer of 2007.  With the Primgraph retired and Burlesque times being tough, my inworld income is down, and I am not sure I can afford another plot. I like the ones I have and am trying to stay afloat.  But it is a consideration.  Blackberry – you are the best caretaker ever.))

  6. Leia Rossini Leia Rossini July 15, 2011

    ((best wishes to you dear Ceejay and your family during this difficult time–rest, recuperate, restore yourself to you and know that Babbage is here with open arms))

  7. Sheryl Skytower Sheryl Skytower July 15, 2011

    I iz sendin’ cookies and good thoughts your way…

    *holds out box of crumbs*

    er… good thoughts. Lots and lots of good thoughts.

    *hugs*

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