The women of New Babbage face one too many injustices on a daily basis! As proper ladies in this grand city, we must fight for what is justly ours, demand that we be treated fairly, and uphold the rights of respectable ladies.
We acknowledge the following injustices:
• Being subjected to becoming wallflowers at dance functions.
• Having our knees be the subject of unwanted gazes from certain men (read: members of that deplorable group, the RRR)
• Being slaves to restrictive fashions of our time that harm our health for the sake of beauty. Our bustles and dresses weigh more than we do! We have the right to choose our fashions based upon any preference we may have and change our styles in as long or short of a period as we choose without being subject to the unwanted gazes of some men.
• We are assumed to be more docile than we are and as such, are not entrusted with the same diligent counsel as our male counterparts.
Therefore, we propose:
• Classes in learning the art of persuading a man to dance.
• Bustle burning! Rid yourselves of those unwanted weights you carry around on a daily basis. Additionally, learning how to wear comfortable fashions without showing too much knee.
• Self defense classes that teach what every lady should know: where to properly conceal your weapons and how to rid yourself of any unwanted advances.
• Protests that demand we be treated as equals, that our minds be recognized as being just as sharp and full of wit, our bodies seen always in a respectable manner, and our skills just as fierce.
In the words of the wise Victoria Woodhull: “Woman, no less than man, can qualify herself for the more onerous occupations of life.”