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The Cat Burglar of New Babbage

This is a true account of events as they unfolded last night outside of the Muirsheen Durkin. I will swear on my medical degree and one of my knighthoods that this is how it happened.

Miss Ginsburg and I were minding our own business enjoying the sights to be seen near the Academy of Industry when we heard several crashes and bangs coming from inside the Brunel.

“How curious.” Miss Ginsburg exclaimed.

“Indeed!” said I.

Next, from the basement where the bar is now located, out rolls Arnold in his wheelchair carrying a crate of Victor’s Chivas Regal. I recognized it instantly as one of the ones that he keeps hidden under the bar on the far left behind some cheap whiskey and empty beer bottles.

“Stop thief!” I hollered. “You mustn’t abscond with Victor’s fine liquor.”

Arnold decided to play coy and pretend to be confused – as if he had no idea what was going on – but we were on to him.

Soon Victor arrived. He was most grateful for the timely interceding of Miss Ginsburg and myself and thanked me most profusely for saving his stock of fine whiskey from the clutches of that stealthy wheelchair-bound cat burglar.

“Whatever would I have done had it not been for you two.” said Victor most solemnly.
“Emerson I am most indebted to you.” he smiled most appreciatively. “Is there a finer citizen in all of New Babbage?”

As it was late, Victor had to run off before providing me with my reward for foiling the burglary. I will be at the ‘Plank all day today awaiting my bottle of Chivas and box of sagarada lucias.

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  1. Grendel Footman Grendel Footman August 23, 2012

    Somehow, I fail to beleive this is what happened.

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse August 23, 2012

      As a medical doctor I swear upon my Hypocritical Oath that events were as accurate as depicted with only minor modifications to Mr. Mornington’s dialogue as this is a PG forum.

  2. Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger August 23, 2012

    I want to know how he got that wheelchair up the staircase.

  3. Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer August 23, 2012

    (He used newfangled dalek technology, I’m sure)

  4. Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold August 23, 2012

    Arnold woke up as he was thrown about roughly.  He looked about and found himself angled backwards as that assistant, perpetually smoking a cigar, took him up the jagged steps to Sonnerstein’s residence. 

    He grimaced as he was thrown about and tried to go back to sleep when he noticed something in his lap…a bottle of some kind…could have been anything for all he could tell…when had he gotten that and where?  He vaguely recalled Emerson and Victor but it was mostly a blur.  He settled back as the assistant knocked on the door and called out, “He was caught with stolen goods. Good night.”

    Arnold opened his eye again vaguely, looking to see which of the children that stayed here had been apprehended.

  5. Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein August 23, 2012

    ::Kris shook his head, contemplating the bottle that had arrived with Arnold before setting it at the back of a high shelf in the kitchen to stow away for the poor feline for the time when he’d be recovered enough to properly enjoy it:: That Emerson…! I would say I can’t believe he would use Arnold as a scapegoat in one of his plots, but I suppose it doesn’t surprise me. Might have to have a talk with that man…

  6. Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg August 24, 2012

    *watches the door of the Gangplank as she sharpens her cooking knives*

    Thankfully we just happened to be in the neighborhood!

  7. Victor1st Mornington Victor1st Mornington August 25, 2012

    Emerson, i heard the whole thing because i had the doors of my TARDIS opened during the whole conversation because i was behind the swimming pool wall.

    You are a common, petty theif Lighthouse, putting poor disabled Arnold into that position by having him do your dirty work.  You have also farbricated everything that was said during said conversation to the point where you are not only now a petty theif, but a very bad liar.

    Has the Emerson Estate, which is now bankrupt and close to insolvency, collapsed so far that you have to resort to this?

    Think of poor innocent Junie! Think of poor old frail Mumsy!

    Rethink your ways Emerson!

    • Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein August 25, 2012

      ((XD Poor old frail Mumsy!))

    • Petharic Petharic August 26, 2012

      You need not remind me to think of the poor, innocent Miss Ginsburg, sir, however I believe you are one adjective over your quota in describing Mrs. Sharp.

      Still, there is clearly an Emerson problem and I see but one solution.

      *pats the Colt*

      • Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein August 26, 2012

        Now now, Mr. Petharic, no need to resort to extreme measures just yet, hm?

        • Mumsy Abigail Mumsy Abigail August 27, 2012

          But he’s been trying to kill Lighthouse for more than a year!

          Perhaps it’s the sunglasses preventing him from actually seeing his quarry.  Though how he could miss a gigantic white-haired fop, I’ll never know…

          *narrows her eyes and takes a closer look at Kristos*

          This is a peculiar city.

          • Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein August 27, 2012

            ::looking over at Petharic:: Yes, it is rather peculiar at times, isn’t… ::blinks down at her and leans back:: …it? ::takes a sliding step to the side, away from Mumsy:: Hello.

  8. Mumsy Abigail Mumsy Abigail August 25, 2012

    *scowls and rolls her eyes*

    It’s not as if they used him as air kraken bait. For Builder’s sake, have some perspective.

    Why don’t you children just wrap up this love-fest and get back to work?

    • Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold August 26, 2012

      Right…work…work…*Thinks for a few minutes*

      The hospital burned down…and the asylum tried to kill me…twice.  *Pauses*  And I’m not a major domo anymore…and I’m doubly retired. 

      Emerson’s a double knight, I’m doubly retired.

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse August 26, 2012

      We could use him as air kraken bait? Not that we would, mind you… but the season is almost over and I am almost out of pickles… and he did say he was looking for a job.


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