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SuperVillain Try Outs: How to Get One’s Way

SuperVillain Try Outs: Now is the time for those of you with a maniacal laugh, tyrannical motives and an aptitude for making minions to step into the spotlight. The contest is going to be held entirely on the BAR ( ).

There will be three posts/events for hopefuls to compete in, this is the third (and final):

3-How to Get One’s Way (Dealing with Hecklers/Bribery): There will be hecklers in the life of a SuperVillain. There will also be all of the weak-minded fools who you will bend to your will through bribery (possibly the contest judges, one may never know). Explain in detail how you intend to inspire the masses and deal with naysayers (including your competition).

(Bystanders and Hecklers are allowed to comment as well!)

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  1. Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer August 12, 2012

    Hello BAR! You’re looking wonderful today, I swears the other fora are just green with envy!  You’ve lost weight, I just know it, and are those new shoes?  Ah, but you didn’t come to hear my most sincere flattery, you want to know about my qualifications to be your new belevolent overlady. Let me refill that coffee cup, there you go, such a dear.  

    Well then, shall we have a nice little chat, just you and I, BAR? Good! I’ve been watching you for some time now, and I can’t even begin to tell you how impressed I am with your superb skills, especially that untapped knack you have for minioning.  Now, everyone thinks being a minion is all gravy and no hats, but its just not TRUE, and if you promise to keep listening to my messages every single day of your life, I’ll tell you what the gravy and hats quip was all about, in due time, perhaps, maybe.

    I mean, really, BAR. May I call you Atheric?  Such a lovely middle name it is.  Anyway, hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my code, so Morse me maybe?

    *sips and beams a MOST sincere smile*

    Now, as for the hecklers.  Easy peasy.  I just serve them decaf!  Muahahahahaha!


    • Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger August 16, 2012

      Decaf? Sweet Builder, THAT is evil!

  2. DoctorDinosaur Runner DoctorDinosaur Runner August 13, 2012

    *a Whatcher lands on stage and starts playing the cylinder inside it’s torso:
    “Mammals of the BAR, You know me, you know my works, all you naysayers and hecklers think you can hide behind your milita, you don’t even realize the multiple occasions your city has almost fallen, to br brought back from the brink of disaster, and not just by my hands, by the hands of others! It’s the others the mammals of this sleepy city need to worry about. All I want is for world domination, the total sublimation of the human/other race, maybe my own private island to let loose dinosaurs grown in a lab, is that too much to ask really?
    Each of you naysayers who call me a lizard, scoff at my attempts at taking over, leave everything to a black cat, the unluckiest of mammals. To you, I offer a deal, not a bribe, but an offer. Agree that I am THE only overlord for this fair city, and I will make sure, not to send you bombs, anymore… I mean it, I have a whole pile here, just waiting to be sent via messenger, and I’m willing to just dump them all in the vernian! All just for one little, tiny thing, maybe a grand title even like ‘The Terror of New Babbage’, ‘The scaled scourge’, or something like that. Of course, those of you that ignore this, continue your heckling and insults, I have a bomb with your name on it pal!
    As for the rest of you, I’ll be sending your very own Mentok Receiver, hang it over your door! put it on your coffee table! invite your neighbors over to gaze longingly into it’s warm comfortable hypnobeam!
    This is Doctor Dinosaur Runner, Think it over.”

    • Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger August 16, 2012

      watch your mouth or I’ll drop an asteroid in your living room.

  3. Professor Parx Professor Parx August 13, 2012

    Thank you to the Caffeine Addict and the Stunt Gecko from Tangled.

    Getting what you want is a multi-faceted thing. Much like the sides of a precious stone, some things need subtlety, others need direct light. Much the same as dealing with those-who-would-stand-in-your-way. Some can be bought off with treats, others need to have the situation properly explained to them. On occasion this may involve learning aids like cudgels, or perhaps taking a loved one captive.

    Everyone has a breaking point. It’s just a matter of finding the correct pressure point for the situation.

    • Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs August 13, 2012

      What about electrically shooting someone in the back? Is that a “proper” explanation? *glare*

      • Professor Parx Professor Parx August 13, 2012

        My dear Miss Heinrichs, I’ve only ever shot people in the front. Even for a ghoul, niceties should be observed.

          • Professor Parx Professor Parx August 13, 2012

            I don’t believe it is *my* memory which is faulty.

            • Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs August 13, 2012

              Is that so, you cad? Then what does your oh-so-superior memory tell you about that event? *lays the sarcasm on thick for that second sentence*

              ((Someone had to use the “c”-word at some point. May as well be me. *grin*))

  4. Orpheus Angkarn Orpheus Angkarn August 13, 2012

    St. Jimmy strolls up to the megaphone, hammer in hand, and begins to speak to the crowd.

    ” You ask, ‘How do you get what you want?’ to which I reply thusly. It isn’t about what I want, its about what the town needs… sure, my motives are lead by a desire for revenge against those who lied to me and mistreated me as a child, but does that make me a villain? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, who’s to say?”

    St. Jimmy pulls a fat urchin from the crowd, turning him towards the audience, squishing his cheeks into an awkward, sad, pucker and continues.

    “To the hecklers in the crowd I ask you… what about the children? What about the children?”

    • DoctorDinosaur Runner DoctorDinosaur Runner August 13, 2012

      *the Whatcher’s cylinder plays again*

      “Doctor Dinosaur here, I don’t think I get it, is he going to drop the fat kid in a vat of krakensharks with death-rays on their heads?   And yes, I did pre-record this cylinder just to say that!”

  5. Victor1st Mornington Victor1st Mornington August 14, 2012

    If one was a supervillian and being heckled, one would simply give a few silver coins to a group of urchins, the urchins would then start to throw mud balls, pebbles and anything they could find at the hecklers.

    The hecklers would then be distracted and run after the urchins, the urchins being younger would be able to outrun the stupid hecklers because hecklers are usually unfit people who are only able to shout.

    …very simple really.

    As for inspiring the citizens of the city?

    Thats easy…

    I am Vic Mornington, your honest, down to earth, simple, innocent hotelier.  If i needed a strange package delivered I would simply ask, with my usual honest grin, because I am totally honest and innocent.

    Bribery, thats easy…evil people like The Melniks and Emerson are easy to bribe or pay off.  If that doesnt work, then threaten their livlyhood by burning down their bar or something like that, quick and clean.

    Not that i would do anything of the kind of course… *coughs*

    • Scottie Melnik Scottie Melnik August 14, 2012

      For one thing, we’re not evil, unless we’re being threatened. For another, if we were to be bribed or paid off, that would make us your henchmen/women.

      And we don’t usually accept bribes or payoffs, we are the bribers or payoffers. It’s an important distinction.

  6. Cadmus Lupindo Cadmus Lupindo August 14, 2012

     Not all of you need to be minions there is a need for lieutenants in any crew.

     For those who deep down desire to be subjugated, I will command you. For those who desire other motivations there is rum and loot.

     For those who speak against me there is punch. If that does not silence you there is the lash.

  7. Grendel Footman Grendel Footman August 14, 2012

    I’m all set on minions, I make my own thanks, but I can always use more test subjects.

    what’s in it for you?

    possible immortality, and you wouldn’t need to be a damn sparkling vampire or a scottishswordsman to get it either.

  8. Mumsy Abigail Mumsy Abigail August 15, 2012

    Oh, dear, how misguided we are here.  Tsk.

    One never bribes.  One provides incentive.

    One never lies.  One exaggerates.

    One never threatens.  One persuades.

    One never engages in deceit.  One euphamizes.

    Most importantly, one never indulges a fool that displays delusions of grandeur, maniacal laughter, doomsday devices and such rot. Let him entertain himself by being clever while the real work is done quietly.

    There is never one so dangerous as he who keeps his own counsel.

    Good luck in finding your new supervillain, New Babbage.  I will be at home, knitting socks for the urchins.

    *curls her lip contemptuously and shuffles away*


  9. Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein August 18, 2012

    For the masses, what better way to win them over than with a promise for stronger, healthier bodies? And if they resist, well, there are ways of making the mind more docile and susceptible to suggestion. ::loads a tranq gun and preps the lab for a few genetic experiments:: Hecklers really make for terrible minions even with the best of adjustments, but there’s no reason they can’t have the same benefits promised to the people as a whole. 

    No, the best minions are the willing, those who stand behind your cause as if it were their own. And believe me, there’s always someone out there looking for a change in their life and something better.

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