Press "Enter" to skip to content

Question Game – The Boiler Elf

You’re just minding your own business. Then boom, he’s there. Glaring at you for ruining his busy schedule.

What did you do to summon the Boiler Elf?

Spread the love


  1. Zaros Xue Zaros Xue August 23, 2015

    I sat in bed crying, dreading when he’d next show up. I didn’t end up summoning him by doing this but he decided to stop by every so often anyway just to glare at me and add to my terror. What a bastard.

  2. Nyanka Jinx Nyanka Jinx August 23, 2015

    Boiler elf? You mean the dwarfish fellow I found sleeping on a couch in the Red Cat on my way to work the other morning? Is he some sort of vargrant or something like a gremlin? I’m not sure.

    -Dr. Henry Jekyll

      • Nyanka Jinx Nyanka Jinx August 23, 2015

        Oh. That makes sense.

        Then who was that?

        – Dr. Henry Jekyll

        • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk August 23, 2015

          you’ll know boiler elf if you ever see him. he’s worse than sleestaks.

  3. Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery August 23, 2015

    I tore a hole in the fabric of time with my sharpest stiletto heel, while dancing on the graves of my enemies.

  4. Nyanka Jinx Nyanka Jinx August 23, 2015

    I mixed vodka and absinthe together and drank it.

    Then again, that’s also a good way to summon pink elephants so…

    – Edward Hyde

  5. Wulfriðe Blitzen Wulfriðe Blitzen August 23, 2015

    Looks suspiciously at the label of her wine, then looks at the Boiler Elf, then at the crumpled papers on the floor, and groans.
    “Um…yes…I didn’t mean it about the bats…sorry about all that….”
    Backs out the room and flees.


  6. Beryl Strifeclaw Beryl Strifeclaw August 23, 2015

    *Shuffles around inside the Christmas Tree.*  Hey, this thing wasn’t going to quality test itself.  *Bats at another ornament*

    • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham August 23, 2015

      We’re never getting you out of that tree, are we?

  7. Tepic Harlequin Tepic Harlequin August 23, 2015


    Tepic looks down the possible list for this year…..

    Oh dear…….

  8. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon August 23, 2015

    The Boiler Elf appeared while I helped Mr Mornington reduce the overstock of apples in his celler.

    One moment it was only me and the apples, the next the Boiler Elf was there too!

    Then in a blink he vanished in a puff of sooty smoke! *poof*

  9. violet Solano violet Solano August 23, 2015

    leans back in her chair and smiles”getting the boiler elf s attention?thats easy,lately all i have to do is breathe to feel his glare”

    • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham August 23, 2015

      Oh, I don’t think you’d have to do that much to summon the grouchy little so-and-so.  In your case, Violet, I think that all you have to do to summon him is to exist.

      • violet Solano violet Solano August 25, 2015

        but Caesar if that were the case he would never leave, and that would become …………………tedious

  10. Cyan Rayna Cyan Rayna August 23, 2015

    Oh he’s just here to see all the good I’ve done so far this year… besides he’s always glaring at everything… What I’m sweet and innocent :3

  11. Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse August 23, 2015

    He can be such a late-night buzz-kill, like that finger-waving fish always telling kids to ignore the cat ’cause the cat is bad and it will make mom mad—except he’s uglier than a fish and he doesn’t wag his finger, and he thinks your mom is bad too.

  12. Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger August 23, 2015

    I called his voicemail and filled up the queue, then dropped his number into a drawing for a free year of alarm service, then another for a free Bermuda resort trip.

  13. Maggie Lynwood Maggie Lynwood August 23, 2015

    I sat on my porch and sang to the north wind and he came to me.

  14. Canolli Capalini Canolli Capalini August 23, 2015

    I used really really old vendors and still haven’t updated…


  15. Cadmus Lupindo Cadmus Lupindo August 23, 2015

    I stole Christmas from Whoville.

      • Cadmus Lupindo Cadmus Lupindo August 24, 2015

        You say the sweetest things, Dear.

        • Stargirl Macbain Stargirl Macbain August 24, 2015

          Love you until I put you in the ground.

  16. Byron Wexhome Byron Wexhome August 24, 2015

    “…The truth is… I am Boiler Elf.

    ((It is plausible, right? I mean – when have you ever seen us together in the same place at the same time? …just sayin’…))

  17. Buckminster Solo Buckminster Solo August 24, 2015

    At the institute, whenever someone activates the lab’s hyperbaric geostatic pan-pneumatic magno-galactic melodramatic coffee grinder, that damn elf appears outside. He writes rude words on the window with a wax pencil, sneers at us for several minutes, and then stalks off looking crabby and peevish. It’s why we usually stick to tea.

  18. Pilipo Underwood Pilipo Underwood August 25, 2015

    I was digging around in a big sack of stuff that I had managed to pull out the ruins of the laboratory fire. I drug out that horrid little X-mas tree I had made after a couple of pulls on a bottle of good old Texas Oh Be Joyful had roostered me a little; the pathetic little shrub was made out of pipe cleaners and sealing wax with bits of that slinky lead tinsel wrapped around the trunk. How that consarned little joke survived the fire I will never figger.

    “I’m throwing this piece of refuse in the canal.” I said it out loud. There was this puff of greasy smoke and a sound like a campfire flare up after a fresh log, and this sooty little Weihnachts man in a filthy red frock appeared, snatched the gawdawful tree out of my hand, and with a hiss like water on a griddle vanished as gray steam filled the room.

    “Damn,” I said to no one in particular, “that nasty little spud was uglier’n homemade soap!” 

  19. Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham August 27, 2015

    Well, he does have other people to ann … I mean check up on

  20. Jimmy Branagh Jimmy Branagh August 28, 2015

    Oy dint do nuffin’ Mr. Boiler Elf!

    (Jimmy points at Stormy)

Leave a Reply