TO: Mr Buckminster Solo, Shockley Biologics Institute, New Babbage
FROM: Sir Fenton Rowsinger-Plint, SIMCo HQ, London
RE: “Am I Hallucinating?”
Mr Solo… We are unable to categorically account for your sightings of the two gentlemen in question except to say that you probably shouldn’t have seen them at all. While our agents have not been able to locate Mr Arkright for several months, I can assure you that Dr Dendrite has not made any unscheduled visits to New Babbage and has been thoroughly annoying us at our London facility for the past few weeks. I am very much afraid the person you witnessed who so resembled him was not, strictly speaking, a person.
It is my suspicion that you encountered one of the escaped shape-changers from our Psi-morphic Research Clinic, one capable of scanning your mind and assuming the appearance and mannerisms of someone known to you. We are on the verge of recapturing two of them, Madam Memick and Cavalier Clay, but Mr Zeroxin Klone and others remain at large and entirely unaccounted for. Be aware that Klone is an inveterate and talented liar. If local citizens notice a marked increase in acts of fraud, swindling, flimflammery, grifting and more dead bodies lying around than seems routine, please alert us (through secure company channels) at once.
If you spot Dr Dendrite or Mr Arkright around town again, APPROACH WITH CAUTION as they are, most likely, desperate and deadly duplicates who are definitely not acting under our Chairman’s orders. We would prefer to re-capture our wayward proteans alive, but if Shockley Hall or any valuable Institute personnel are threatened, do feel free to respond with lethal force. In an effort to avoid any unwanted legal action, please be sure to only liquidate individuals who look like people you know. Our lawyers will appreciate your cooperation in this matter.