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Arnold found the entrance to the Gangplank had been replaced with a giant barricaded door that had ‘Dinosaur Proof’ written across it. Shaking his head he scratched at the door.  When there was no reply so he tried knocking, which got a muffled response from the other side, “Plank’s closed.  Move along.”

“I need to get into Clockhaven,” Arnold yelled back.  When that didn’t work he tried, “Can I talk to Emerson?”  If the Plank was Clockhaven he should at least be partially in charge.

“No one is seeing Sir Sir Emerson!” The voice called through the door, and Arnold finally thought he recognized Emerson’s new head of security. “’Specially not lizards that come scratching.”

“Petra?  Is that you?” He called out.  “It’s me, Arnold. I defeated that lizard.”  Even though she couldn’t see him he pointed at the sign saying ‘Dinosaur Proof.’

“Really?” Petra said, and then there was some scuffling inside and the sound of a giant lock coming unfastened.  “Well why didn’t you say so, ya silly cat.”

As the door opened he met Petra, who was armed with Mr. Lightninghouse and her helmet, although her helmet was much shinier than he recalled.  She grinned as she re-locked the gate and lead him through a rickety hallway with the familiar green wallpaper until they came out into the Gangplank he remembered.

Bert was minding the bar while Momoe was reading a book,  while Kaylee and Junie were trying to get them to experiment with something they’d made in the kitchen.  There were also a few of its regulars and neighbors, such as Lottie, Lilith, Dr. Cyberfaustus, and Erica Fairywren.

“Hey there, Arnold.”  Momoe smiled warmly, and Junie turned and gave him an excited greeting which was mirrored by Erica.  Cyberfaustus, Bert, and the most of the others contented themselves with a friendly nod.  Arnold sighed contentedly and made his way to the bar.

“You’re just in time to try my newest Kraken reci-” Junie cringed as she choked and grabbed her nose, looking as if she was about to gag. “Jeez Arnold, what have you been doing?!”  Arnold stared around the room, the rest of the staff had begun to look sick, even Momoe.  Only Petra didn’t seem to really mind the stench that must have been rising from him.

“Is it that bad?”  He asked, and sniffed his paw.  He winced as the awful smell filled his lungs in concentration.

“You smell like the sewer, and also like you’ve chain smoked for years and have never bathed!” Junie coughed and he brought his hat down over his head and hid his face. “Well, we can’t let our mascot go around smelling like that!  Don’t worry, Arnold.  We’ll have you all fixed up in no time at all.  It’ll be fabulous.”

Arnold looked up at Junie who was now reaching for a bottle of cherry red nail lacquer, soap, a pair of scissors, a pair of goggles, and other tools.  She and Momoe grinned almost wickedly at him as he resigned himself.


“Now you’re the perfect mascot for the Gangplank.” Junie said while trying not to laugh.

“What am I wearing now?”  Arnold stared down at the attire they’d provided him after he was cleaned and his claws polished red.  It was something he’d have expected to see an Armadian lass wear when she wanted to be even more flamboyant than usual, except they had provided him with a wooden sword in place of a real one.  He still had no idea how they’d talked him into it, but it had once again all been over by the time he thought to protest.

“I really like it,” Lilith said, and Momoe added with a mischievous grin.  “You look like a daring swashbuckler now!”  Most of the others were bemused by the staff’s antics, and Erica asked if there wasn’t something more suitable available for him.

“This is appropriate!”  Junie assured them.  “It’s Arnold’s dream to become a female pirate who owns a bar.”

There were a few moments of confusion before Dr. Cyberfaustus responded kindly, “I have my doubts that you heard him correctly, Miss Ginsburgh.”

While they talked Arnold started to look for his other possessions, the clover and hat were both still in perfect condition, though most of the medical supplies were ruined.  He took everything with him, including the bag that Junie had asked if she should throw away more than once because of the waters damage.  

He replaced the pirate hat with the white one, and then considered what this ‘pirate’ outfit might mean to him, but he couldn’t come to a conclusion.  In case it did mean something he wouldn’t discard it…yet.

“Where’s Emerson?”  He asked, interrupting their conversation which was on how Arnold intended to run off one day to go join the Armadan’s.  

“I gotta take ya,”  Petra explained as she got up from her barrel.  “Though he doesn’t wanna see anyone now he’s run outta leaf.”

Arnold let Petra lead the way down yet another massive hallway until they came to a room full of shelves where Malus was sitting next to a desk and going over several .  As they approached he looked up at the cat and sneered.

“What are you wearing now?”  Arnold shrugged in response and the Squire looked back to the books.  “You look ridiculous.”

With a white top hat, green crystal, urchin tie, wooden sword, ruined fur bag, and everything else Arnold happened to agree with Malus.  As an aside he simply asked, “Didn’t Emerson hire me to look pathetic?”  

“You are pathetic.”  He nodded slightly as Malus sneered again.  That would make his ‘job’ pretty easy, he supposed, if he or anyone else had taken the job seriously.  It was more of an excuse to spend time there among friends than anything else.  

Petra gestured for him to follow and Arnold made his way inside to finally talk with Emerson and hoping that his quest was at an end.  Emerson however, seemed like he was going to make this more difficult than it had to be…

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  1. Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold March 6, 2013

    (Before he put back on his other aquisitions.)


    (Thanks Momoe for the picture.)

  2. Mack Blackwell Mack Blackwell March 6, 2013

    It seems you are a combination of all these things? Not pathetic. The other stuff.-Minus the opium.

  3. Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg March 6, 2013

    *flips up the lenses of her goggles and shuts down the belt sander*

    See?  I told you it would be fabulous.

    Maybe I should open a day spa.

    • Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold March 6, 2013

      I’m sure even your aunt would agree that was a good idea.  She might even visit more often.

  4. Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse March 6, 2013

    The Emperor of Clockhaven? The Godfather of Soul? The Great and Powerful Emerson! – How can Arnold’s dreams and mine be so similar?

    By the way – you have to dress like that from now on when you come to the Gangplank.

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