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Personal Journal – Entry two.

Timothy, I don’t know where I’m going these days. In my haste to try and figure out what to do about Metier, I’m losing myself in everything. I don’t know where I stand and as much as I don’t want to lose what ideals I have, it’s looking more and more like I will have to do so just to stay alive.

Lionheart asked me to marry him, and swore to protect me once he has. He even told me I can name whatever I like in the marriage contract and he would sign in blood to do so. As heady a hubris as that would be, I cannot say that the thought is a good one. I do not want to marry him purely for the sport of staying alive, Tim. I wanted to marry you because I loved you. I wanted to marry you because you were everything to me and I was everything to you. Not because of that stupid feud. None of this was supposed to happen, Tim. None of it…

I’ve even had a mermaid offer me to become like her. At this rate, Tim, I don’t know which offers are smart and which offers would mire me deeper. I want to live, but I don’t want to have to have a marriage of convenience to do so. I also don’t want to have anyone else harmed on my behest. I just want Metier out of my hair and for things to settle down. I need a vacation… I want to go back home and see Thaddeus. I want to make things rewind back to the night when my life changed for the worse and fix it. There are so many things that I want that cannot happen that I just feel like screaming.

I am glad for all of the help that Arnold and I are getting with this, but at the same time, I just want it over. Over and done with…

*dissolves into tears and closes the journal after the ink has dried*

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  1. Verlia Bilavio Verlia Bilavio July 20, 2011

    There’s always an escape to Ravila.

  2. Maddox Sinclaire Maddox Sinclaire July 20, 2011

    If only escape were an option….

    • Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold July 20, 2011

      Arnold had been there to hear the mermaids offer, and it had gotten him to thinking why he hadn’t taken Maddox into their submarine home and they could have justed stayed under the water till Metier had left.

      There had been several reasons actually, but there were two especially good reasons.  The first of which is that he still had no idea how to operate the thing at all.  He hadn’t even managed to submerge it yet successfully, and the second was that there was no gurantee the man wouldn’t have found an armed submarine of his own and eventually chased them down.  At least this way they had allies around…

      Still, Arnold had spent the night thinking about trying to learn how to drive it anyways, when he heard the news that it had exploded Tuesday night.

      Arnold didn’t know whether or not he should actually blame Metier.  This sounded more like his rotten luck than anything else…at least they had already moved all of their essentials out of there, he thought as he looked around for Maddox to tell her the bad news.  At least no one had been hurt this time.

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