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New Tax Laws – From City Hall

From The Offices of City Hall

Dear Citizens of the City State of New Babbage

No doubt you have all heard about the impending taxation of candy which will be rolled out at the end of this calendar week.  Many people have called this the “happiness tax” or the “urchin tax”. 

Will this taxation be harmfull to Urchins?  Not at all!

Will this taxation be harmfull to the businessess which are selling candy? Absolutley not!

The taxation is only 5%.  Thats it, just 5%.

If someone imports a box of rum truffles, the price of that box will only cost 5% more.  It is not a tax on individual candies.  It’s a tax on candies sold, wether it be in single form in a box.  A single candy sold from a jar will increase in price by 5%.  A box of candys will increase by only 5% for the box and not each individual cnady inside that box.

The City State of New Babbage has a lot of municipal lands which are there for the good of all citizens to enjoy and stroll in.  Do you want the city’s paved surfaces to suddenly be full of potholes?  Do you want the city’s sewer system to suddeny collapse and spill effluent into your bar, or home?

Of course you don’t.

This tax, is simply a small tax, the first of a series of very small taxes which will be introduced to the general businessess and imports which make the city the prosperous and industrial city it always has been.

You can be assured that Mr Tenk has full and complete trust in my position as assitant maceholder as i take a long look at the funding of municipal lands and services throughout the city.


V. Mornington
City Hall
The City State of New Babbage 

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  1. Grendel Footman Grendel Footman October 7, 2013

    I’m less concerned about affluent spilling out of the sewers than I am all the divergent species that apparantly live down there


  2. Tepic Harlequin Tepic Harlequin October 7, 2013

    errrrr…. so if we has ten sweets, Mr Tenk want’s half of one of em? An if they is chocolate covered brazils, can we suck the chocolate off one of em an send ‘im the nut? An what’s the stance on candied vole, cus we got a sort of barter system fer them, they don’t want ter stock em in the shops fer some reason…

  3. Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg October 7, 2013

    Do you want the city’s sewer system to suddeny collapse and spill effluent into your bar, or home?

    I like the fact that he listed “bar” before “home.”  Babbagers have priorities.

    That said, I don’t think Emerson and I need to pay candy tax until something has been done about the water spilling into our bar.

  4. Arthur Serpente Arthur Serpente October 8, 2013

    I am sadly negligent with the forums, but I do wonder where a copy of the enabling legislation might be perused. I am wondering whether this tax will be placed upon the ice creams available outside my library, or what exactly the definition of a sweet it so that I may circum…. uh, comply with all applicable rules.

  5. Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse October 8, 2013

    Wait a minute! I sense a slippery slope just ahead. Sure it is penny candies and truffles today but tomorrow it’s beer and next week hookah leaf. Power is heady and Mornington needs his fix. It is time for civil disobediance, I say.

    And the scare tactics? Really?

    Problem: Potholes. Solution: carry a bag of sand in the boot of your steam carriage.

    Problem: effluent (or is it effluence?) in your cellar. Solution: send your squire down with a mop and air freshener. (If you lack a squire send in an urchin and an old towel. Be sure to put a clothes pin on their nose or they might whine a little about the smell)

    When it comes to taxes do the sensible thing everybody. Just say ‘no.’ 


  6. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon October 8, 2013

    What will they tax next?


    Yes, our apples are doomed!

    *keeps calm and starts panicing*

    *gets really confused*

    *comfort eats apples*

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse October 8, 2013

      * Makes note to stock up on a few extra bushels of apples in case Avariel should stop by.           ** Purchase direct from Cleetus’s farm up in Dairy just in case the tax man stamps them.       *** barter not cash.

      Gets an idea

      Junie! Can we move to a noncash system of payment for the confectionary and sweets we  sell I mean ‘give away’ at the Gangplank?

      • Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg October 8, 2013

        As long as the Squire can keep it off the books.

        Thank goodness pie isn’t taxed!

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