MAGNETS AND MIRACLES AND THE DEATH OF AN ASSISTANT

((Private Journal from the desk of Captain Undertone But feel
free to comment!))

 

I have been neglectful of late of my journal. I return to it
now, and pen these words with a new resolve to write more often. Yesterday I
have made a chance encounter with an intriguing man, and shortly after that I
discovered that a crime may have been committed.

 

I should add this was not my first encounter with this
particular man. We had met briefly a week prior, while taking the trolley to
CocoJava, and were fellow passengers for those few minutes as we lurched and
rumbled along the tracks. During that first meeting the most singular trait
about this man was that he was truly unremarkable. His bare forehead domed and
shiny, rounded shoulders, thin limbs and pale skin all marked him as perhaps a
clerk or some other occupation equally devoid of sunlight and fresh air. His
nervous manner coupled with his endless need for conversation caused me to take
notice of him, and without his ceaseless conversation I can safely say I would
have forgotten him as soon as we parted ways. Never before have I met someone
so intent on conversing about so many banal issues! As the trolley slowed, I
seized the opportunity and sprang from my seat.  Upon landing on the sidewalk, I happily walked away leaving him behind with
a cheerful wave.

 Imagine my surprise when I met the same individual a week
later, and scarcely recognized him. He was transformed!  Gone was the pale and
nervous clerk. In his place standing tall with thrust-out chest stood a ruddy
man, beaming at me with renewed confidence!  I questioned him and learned that
his transformation into the very picture of health was accomplished with the
aid of a local doctor and a miraculous machine. The man explained to me that he
simply stood on a metal plate while the doctor threw a switch. Immediately he
felt renewed as powerful magnetic waves passed throughout his frame. After
telling me this, he then proceeded to dance a jig, thus proving beyond any
doubt that he is indeed cured!

A magnetic field, I learned, provides instant
relief of every conceivable ailment, and is much safer than Mr. Cleanslate’s
radium pills.  I must research these magnetism effects further. Mr. Underby is
very knowledgeable about many things to do with healing, and he is also a very
trustworthy citizen.  I decided to pay him a visit straight away.

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A Grieving Underby Chokes Back Tears

I found Mr. Underby at the Bucket of Blood, fully intending
to question him about the miraculous effects of magnetism.  I found him to be
in a pitiful state.  Sobbing with grief, he informed me that his assistant had
been murdered!  I was able to draw out some information from him.  According to
Mr. Underby, the unfortunate lad is named Pip, and he was being held against
his will at a nearby church when he was found dead in his cell.  I assured Mr.
Underby that I will take the matter to Mayor Tenk and request permission to
investigate this death as a potential crime. Considering all that Mr. Underby
has done for our fair city, I am certain that Mayor Tenk will grant the
request.  After all, it was Mr. Underby who nursed our mayor back to health
when Mr. Tenk was so very ill. 

With red-rimmed eyes Mr. Underby thanked me profusely as I
took my leave.  Ah, to see one of New Babbage’s finest citizens in such a
state was truly heart-wrenching.   I consoled him as best as I could, and
assured him that New Babbage needs more citizens like him.

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Thankful for Assistance

 

In light of his grief, I could not bring myself to ask him
about the miraculous effects of magnetism.  I will wait another day for that
conversation.