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Maggie’s Soliloquy

(It was brought to my attention that a lot of people thought Pocket and I made it out of the city.  He and I are still on our extended SL break, but I thought I’d try bringing everyone up-to-date, sort of.  So this happens before and after Mr. Tenk’s blog, which can be found here. Parts of it happen several weeks ago, and other parts happened yesterday.  Confused? Me too.) 

 

Pocket has been asleep for days now.  I’ve moved him into Mr. Tenk’s clock tower office.  I know I should move him somewhere else, people know we are here because Mr. Melnik carried him up and others saw him do it.  But I feel safer here, because it is high-up, and there is only one way in.

I’m worried he’ll stop breathing.

 ***

Mr. Tenk has brought me supper, he wants to know how Pocket is.  He wants to box him up and ship him to Steelhead, he says it’ll be safer.

Some part of me remembers that that shouldn’t be done.  You shouldn’t move a sleeper. 

I don’t know why.

“I think I can find him,” I say.

“What do you mean, he’s right there?”  Mr. Tenk replies.

“Aye, the shape is there but the shadow is gone.”  I can tell he doesn’t understand.  I am so tired.

When I close my eyes, I can see a forest behind them.

***

In the forest I am walking wide paths that lead to smaller ones.  I am looking for something to go with me. 

These roads used to be full of travelers.

Now they are empty.

****

Mr. Tenk says I have been asleep for four days.  He is worried, he moves carefully around me.  When he looks at me, I see a strange fear there. 

I feel sorry for him and sorry that he doesn’t understand.  I feel sorry for him, because I am using him in this way and we haven’t set terms.

“Here,” I untie my favorite ribbon from my hat and hold it out to him, “it’s a loan.”

“I don’t understand,” But he takes it.  I tell him he can use it to call me back, I tell him how it works.  I see him hide it someplace safe.  He gives me a clipping from his beard, I hide it in my hat. 

This does nothing to set things right, but it is a start.

***

In the forest I have found a guide, a small bird.  She will follow me through the dreaming place, she will help me lead Pocket home.

If I can find him, if I can keep her with me.

Today she disappeared and it was dark and I was frightened and I found a small house in the woods surrounded by snow.  It looked like a nice place to curl-up and feel safe, but I was too afraid to go near it.

***

Today I had a dream-within-a-dream.  I woke without waking and the part of me that spoke did not understand that I was awake.  Mr. Tenk was there, he made me food that the speaking part of me did not eat.  He was very kind, he has told us how to find ourselves again.

He has given us a gift.

The debt is too great, if I wake, I shall never pay it off.

The guide tells me this is my own fault.

***

The forest was dark today and the paths full of vines.  I think this means I am getting close.  I must find Pocket.  How did he become my quest?  I cannot remember.  I wish he had listened to me, I wish he had gone with me to America.  We should have left when I asked.

Why did we have to wait?  Was the turning of the moon more important to him than our safety?  If it was, then why am I risking freedom to find him?

He won’t understand when I find him.

I am tired of cutting my feet on thorns.

I am worried that Doubt is right.  That this is only a dream.  There are special buildings built out of stone where they keep the people who believe their dreams, I remember.  They call them “Asylum.”

 

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2 Comments

  1. Tepic Harlequin Tepic Harlequin August 21, 2010

    Poor Maggie, i do keep an eye out for you as i wander the world, and it is easy to get lost when you start to doubt where you are,  If you should hear a flute in the distance, and spy a fox-boy on the path……

    Oh! and a gift given in friendship is no debt, though i know some folks do find it hard to see :-)

  2. Jimmy Branagh Jimmy Branagh August 22, 2010

    Awww … Oy wish things would change faw th’ better faw you guys ..

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