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Long ago, in the Russian Hills, a Victorian explorer found …

United States citizens are urged to remain calm following reports that noxious, invasive Giant Hogweed
has risen and attacked the population of New York City. The striking,
20-foot tall weeds release a sap causing burns, blindness, and death.

“Stay indoors and out of range of these plants at all cost,” warned
Nathan Holright of the New York Department of Environmental Conservation
(DEC). “Their sap is especially dangerous, as it can blind you. If you
see a Giant Hogweed, run.”

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  1. Mr Tenk Mr Tenk July 10, 2012

    dang. here i thought candelabra cactus sap was bad.

    • Pilipo Underwood Pilipo Underwood July 10, 2012

      Stuff must be like monster Bull Nettle. Running through a field once’t I
      thought I bin snakebit. Turned out to be Bull Nettle. Hogweed seems
      even worse in its effects.

  2. Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein July 10, 2012

    ((And to think Stormy wants Jez to send him some rue. From the sounds of it, the sap is just as bad, but at least rue isn’t so invasive and overblown. This is a damned scary plant!))

  3. Glaubrius Valeska Glaubrius Valeska July 10, 2012

    Strike by night!
    They are defenceless.
    They all need the sun to photosensitize their venom.

    Still they’re invincible,
    Still they’re immune to all our herbicidal battering.

  4. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon July 10, 2012

    Gets the Triffid gun ready…

  5. Tesla Tripsa Tesla Tripsa July 10, 2012

    Wow, I thought this was a joke at first, but they really are that scary.  Six to sixteen feet tall, and in some cases over 20!?!?  We’re all doomed.

  6. Pilipo Underwood Pilipo Underwood July 10, 2012

    Tesla, I thought the whole thing a joke when I used to listen to the song above, a product of Mr Gabriel’s artistic noggin’. Then yestiddy I found out the things are real! Holy crap!

    And I had forgotten about triffids, Avariel!

  7. Pilipo Underwood Pilipo Underwood July 10, 2012

    Inneybuddy read Shadow of the Torturer? This is like that avern plant:

  8. “When I flourished the second plant and practiced striking out with it and picking and throwing the leaves, I found that my own avern was likely to be almost as great a danger to me as the Septentrion’s.”

    The Shadow of the Torturer

  9. Mumsy Abigail Mumsy Abigail July 10, 2012

    *slips on her gardening gloves*

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