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Job Posting

Competition #00001

Position: Knight’s Squire in the service of a knight of high distinction and unimpeachable honour

Duties: The successful candidate will be expected to perform standard squirely duties during parades, festivals and various civic functions; in addition, the successful candidate will be expected to take dictation on a daily basis as the employer has many great ideas that need to be recorded; finally, it is the responsibility of the successful candidate to correct grammatical and factual inconsistencies, without compromising the natural integrity of the employer’s thought process.*

Further Qualifications and Limitations:

  • Discretion is mandatory
  • The consumption of alcohol between sunrise and noon will not be tolerated **
  • The successful applicant must be willing to bathe at least once per week
  • Hours are variable – but not flexible
  • Compensation is nonnegotiable and will be based soley on the applicant’s prior squiring experience ***
  • Start date is yet to be determined

All interested parties are welcome to apply. Slip your resume under the door of the clock/house tower at Lighthouse Landing in the Wheatstone Waterways quoting competition #00001 on the outside of the envelope.

Fine print section:

* In addition to the above mentioned duties, on rare occasions, the successful candidate may be called upon to alleviate any negative repercussions resulting from possible moral indescretions (allegedly) committed by the employer.

**Unless for medicinal purposes, such as the treatment of insomnia, nervous anxiety, gout, etc.

***Experienced squires need not apply

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14 Comments

  1. Yang Moreau Yang Moreau September 27, 2011

    o.O Is this the beginning of New Babbage’s Don Quixote?

    • Nathaniel Lorefield Nathaniel Lorefield September 28, 2011

       I gots a windmill he can fight wif if’n he feels the need.

       

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse September 27, 2011

      I thank you, Brother Malus, for the clerical and, dare I say, divine endorsement implicit in your query. To answer your question, I’m sure as a member of the clergy you would agree that the reward is all in the service.

      • Brother Malus Brother Malus September 28, 2011

        What about food? Will there be meals included?

        • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse September 28, 2011

          Absolutely, food taster is part of the unwritten portion of the job description.

          (Actually, all joking aside, I happen to be a most excellent chef and am more than happy to share… are you looking for a new line of work Brother? If you are you better hurry, it looks like Ms. MacBain might be getting ready to dust off her resume.)

          • Brother Malus Brother Malus September 28, 2011

            If there are full meals in the deal, I am your man, sir!

            • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse September 28, 2011

              Well Brother, I have just sent you a proposal through inworld IM. You may also access it through this site through ‘community’ and ‘recieved’. Essentially I am suggesting you try my cuisine some afternoon. If it is to your liking we might discuss a little knightly adventure.

              • Brother Malus Brother Malus September 28, 2011

                When do I eat?

                I mean start?

            • Stargirl Macbain Stargirl Macbain September 28, 2011

              Squire Malus, how dashing! 

  2. Stargirl Macbain Stargirl Macbain September 27, 2011

    Oooo a squire…*contemplates her credentials* 

  3. Verlia Bilavio Verlia Bilavio September 28, 2011

    This being New Babbage, everyone seems to have a medicinal need for consumption of alcohol.

  4. Leia Rossini Leia Rossini September 29, 2011

     

    ooooohhhh Staaaaaarrr, methinks you might have the credentials to make a fine squire ‘cept you may have some trouble with these: 
    • Discretion is mandatory
    • The consumption of alcohol between sunrise and noon will not be tolerated 
    • The successful applicant must be willing to bathe at least once per week
    **Leia snickers and flees to a safe place 

     

    • Stargirl Macbain Stargirl Macbain September 29, 2011

      Yes, I think bathing only once a week would be quite difficult for me, given my usual twice daily habit, though I suppose I could make accomodations. 

      He didn’t specify noon in what timezone, therefore I shall be fine.

      And my discretion, you’ll find, is tops. Otherwise I’m afraid that little habit of yours, Ms. Rossini, would be quite all over the city.

      But don’t worry, I’m sure that no one notices those shakes. 

      *sniggers.*

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