Position: Knight’s Squire in the service of a knight of high distinction and unimpeachable honour
Duties: The successful candidate will be expected to perform standard squirely duties during parades, festivals and various civic functions; in addition, the successful candidate will be expected to take dictation on a daily basis as the employer has many great ideas that need to be recorded; finally, it is the responsibility of the successful candidate to correct grammatical and factual inconsistencies, without compromising the natural integrity of the employer’s thought process.*
Further Qualifications and Limitations:
- Discretion is mandatory
- The consumption of alcohol between sunrise and noon will not be tolerated **
- The successful applicant must be willing to bathe at least once per week
- Hours are variable – but not flexible
- Compensation is nonnegotiable and will be based soley on the applicant’s prior squiring experience ***
- Start date is yet to be determined
All interested parties are welcome to apply. Slip your resume under the door of the clock/house tower at Lighthouse Landing in the Wheatstone Waterways quoting competition #00001 on the outside of the envelope.
Fine print section:
* In addition to the above mentioned duties, on rare occasions, the successful candidate may be called upon to alleviate any negative repercussions resulting from possible moral indescretions (allegedly) committed by the employer.
**Unless for medicinal purposes, such as the treatment of insomnia, nervous anxiety, gout, etc.
***Experienced squires need not apply