To: Alexander Malik
c/o Brunel Hotel, New Babbage.
Postmarked: November 18th
How are you, old friend? You would never believe what adventures I have had with Mr. Lighthouse. In short, we ended up on a archipeligo kingdom and helped a princess regain her rightful throne. She holds me in such high regard, that she knighted me and I am now Captain of the Guard.
I hope Lapis has not made you his new punching bag since I am gone. I suppose he is picking on Nap now, but Nap might like that. He’s such a robot. All those late nights of training and chess and military theory has been useful. Lapis is a demon, I swear he does nothing without it being part of a plan within a plan. Now I wish I had paid more attention to what he was really doing. Watch out when he starts cheating, that is when you will really learn how to fight. I can’t believe what dullards everyone here is, the Queen should let me train her army instead of that pompous General she inherited from her father. Now I see how valuable our training is. These people will argue about stupid things for hours and days and never see the obvious solutions. It is a wonder they are alive at all. I think she has big plans for me, but most of them look to be tedious and administrative because her people are too stupid to do things logically. I think I would rather I be an envoy or diplomat so I can continue traveling.
Of course, it would be so easy to stay, and spend my nights in pleasure as they do, and my days sleeping it off. They sleep a lot here. I have started to practice on my own, for something to do between all the parties and sleeping it offs. We must correspond so I can continue the work. What subjects does Pizzaro have you on this term? Did we ever get our books back from the city after they confiscated everything?
I am leaving on the morrow to go on a rescue mission for the Queen. We have heard the airship that we traveled to these islands on was lost at sea and that the survivors, good souls all, are stranded on a nearby island that is ruled by a tribe of cannibals. Cannibals, can you believe it? I will lead the expedition to bring the party of survivors back to Civilization. It will be a fine adventure, and I will write you all about it when I return.
Stay strong, Little Brother,