dear little diary,
well.. i may have a job, it seems… at least i don’t think i went so awfully badly in the interview!
i came back to babbage to see gilhooly, rather.. and then i met lisa outside the asylum and she said i ought to work there.. so i wrote a letter to apply, days and days ago.. and i think it may have worked!..maybe..
canergak, whom is the man whom runs the asylum, was rather crabby … or at least, he seemed so, and he said he didn’t like my nature… but i wasn’t shouted at or told i was wasting everyone’s time or anything so that’s rather good i think, isn’t it?
and then professor rance interviewed me too.. i was rather nervous but he was awfully nice, and i only made a mistake once.. but he was terribly kind and he said they shall let me know.. it’s terribly exciting!
lisa wants me to sp–…to watch what is going on at the asylum, rather.. but i shall have to be rather quiet about it.
because canergak told me he shan’t speak to me again and not to be nosey. so i shall have to rely on subtlefuge.
anyway, i shall write what happened next as tho’ it were a play!… because i should like to be a famous playwrite someday, as well as a nurse or doctor in the occult sciences…
*-* act one – meeting canergak *-*
Asylum Door: Lo is at the door.
Canergak waits.
Lo looks about nervously
Lo softly.. “hallo?..”
Canergak turns towards Lo. Their eyes narrow
Lo: o!.. pardon me sir..
Lo curtseys quickly
Canergak: I know you.
Lo: o.. you remember me…
Canergak: You were the girl that cat chose to protect instead of stopping that wolf.
Canergak: The creature.
Lo: well.. he didn’t mean to.. i mean.. it wasn’t his fault…
Lo takes a deep breath
Lo: begging your pardon sir but i am here for a vacant position…
Canergak: Sit down.
Canergak: I am only going to speak to you, not with you at this moment.
Lo: o.. alright..
Lo sits, wide eyed
Canergak: I am aware why you are here.
Lo: you are?.. o!.. good..
Canergak: And I want the truth from you.
Lo bites her lip
Canergak: Do you want to work here, or spy on me?
Lo: o i want to work here!.. i really do!..
Lo: i should like to work in nursing and i am rather good and…
Lo: i like to look after folk and i am awfully interested in the sciences and…
Lo: i don’t mind cleaning and… and…
Lo: i shouldn’t like to spy on anyone. no!
Lo: never.
Canergak: Stop.
Lo mouth very small and eyes very large.
Canergak: I will never believe that you are not wishing in part to keep an eye on the specimen I brought here, or the patients
Lo: well i am awfully interested in folk.. but i shan’t be nosey…
Canergak: But if you do the job, I will hire you knowing this.
Lo: you will?..
Lo eyes even larger
Canergak: Yes.
Lo: …alright!…
Lo: thanks awfully sir!
Canergak: Everyone of my employees I have ever hired has distrusted me.
Canergak: You would be no different in that respect.
Canergak: Your nature.
Lo: my.. my nature?
Canergak: That is what I will choose to overlook.
Lo: i do try to be good!
Lo: all the time!
Lo: and i work terribly hard!
Canergak: We will not speak again.
Lo: o.
Lo: not even to say good morning?
Canergak: I do not like creatures such as thee.
Lo face falls
Lo watches him stand.. stands hurriedly too
Lo not wanting to seem impolite
Lo curtseys again hurriedly
Canergak: You can come to work with a girl, red hair.
Canergak: Perhaps you know them?
Lo shakes her head, mouth small
Canergak: Lisa
Lo: o i expect we shall get along rather well.. when i meet her i mean…
Lo: we haven’t met yet or… anything.
Lo looks sideways at the carpet.
Lo curtseys again just in case.
Canergak: I exect you to be prompt.
Lo: o always!
Canergak: I give leeway to many of my employees.
Canergak: But to your kind, I do not.
Lo looks a little sad and puzzled
Lo: i shall always be on my best behaviour sir.
Lo: and do all my jobs.
Canergak: That you would even risk coming in this building, completely surrounded by iron is the only reason I will allow it.
Lo: well.. i do need the pennies rather..
Canergak: You want something here badly, and if it is to help people here, then good.
Canergak: You may yet get your wish
Lo nods, eyes as wide as can be.
Lo: thank you sir.
Canergak: Dismissed
Lo blinks, startled at his sudden departure
*-* act two – meeting professor rance *-*
Lo: o.. hallo professor sir
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Hello
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: You must be Lo
Lo nods
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Very well, come up to my office and we’ll see if you’re suited to the job you applied for.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Have a seat
Lo sits nervously
Lo: thanks awfully for the interview.. i mean.. i shall be awfully good at working here…
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: You’re welcome. And we shall see.
Lo: even canergak likes me a little bit.. at least i think so…
Lo: he didn’t tell me off quite so much…
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: I did say no experience was necessary, but I would like to hear what qualifications you feel may help with the job.
Lo: o!.. well.. i used to work in mister blackberry’s hospital in the vernian…
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian nods “Anything else?”
Lo: and i looked after rather a lot of patients there.. giving them morphine and so on.. making sure their dosage was right and they were nicely behaved and comfortable…
Lo: and i also used to be an apprentice baker.. that was jolly hard work..
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: That won’t be a requirement here, but I’ll keep it in mind.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian’s brows lift, smiling a little. “Baking, useful..”
Lo: and i also used to be an apprentice in the dark arts.. the dark sciences rather…
Lo: so i know of a little alchemy and suchlike.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian looks at her critically for a moment.
Lo: only the good things, mind!
Lo: that help folk!
Lo wonders if she has said rather too much.
Lo bites her lip.
Lo: i do like helping folk.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian takes a note down on his papers. “Hm.. “
Lo: and making them better.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Well, the position is for a maid, the medical experience isn’t necessary, but it may come in handy on rare occassions.
Lo nods
Lo: i am rather helpful at cleaning up too!
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: You are aware if you are hired it will be primarily to clean, and with that baking experience, possibly to help cook at times?
Lo: o of course!..
Lo: i know some rather good recipes
Lo: for cake and such.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian nods, smiling “I do so love a good cake. You may not have much opportunity for that sort of baking here, but maybe once in a while, hm?”
Lo: i should like to! very much!
Lo: and i also make danish pastries and gingerbread and such.
Lo: o.. and bread.
Lo: and i may dust and sweep and mop up puddles of blood.. i had to do rather a lot of that when i helped underby at his pub, rather.
Lo: the folk there used to fight rather a lot.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian makes a note “Ah, good, then you’re not squeamish”
Lo shakes her head
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Well, that should be all for now. I’ll have a look into any records I may find and if there are other applicants, I’ll of course weigh the qualifications of all applying to find the most suitable for the job. As of yet, you’re the first and only to come forth.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian hesitates
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: How do you feel about squid?
Lo: well… i do like calamari with chips…
Lo: why tho?
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: But I mean live squid. No qualms with having to get your hands dirty dealing with those sorts of things?
Lo: no… that is alright…
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian nods, noting it down “Very good then.”
Lo: is that the new patient canergak was talking about?.. is he rather squid like?
Lo: i did wonder…
Lo looks curious, realising it may be quite important…
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian smirks “No, he’s quite normal in appearance aside from being too pale and sickly..”
Lo: o.. well he oughtn’t eat so much squid then…
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian smiles wryly “Yes..”
Lo: i shall help him and put him on a good diet…
Lo: when i do the cooking.
Lo: and i shall make sure his room is clean
Lo: so he doesn’t get ill.
Lo: or more ill than he is.
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Anything else you want to add before I let you go?
Lo: umm…
Lo: i should like to add that…
Lo: i am awfully grateful for the interview and i look forward to being a maid and cook here very much
Lo: and one day i should like to work in medicine and things.
Lo: and thanks awfully!
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian nods, marking down one more note before he stood “Thank you”
Lo stands up, wide eyed
Lo: i hope i was alright…
Lo curtseys
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian smiles “You did just fine. I’ll let you know in a day or two if you have the job.”
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: One more thing..
Lo: thank you sir!..
Lo: yes?..
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: You’re one of the Sonnerstein family, aren’t you?
Lo nods, beaming
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian nods “You should be easily contacted then, I imagine.”
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Thank you for coming, Ms. Lo
Lo curtseys
Asylum Door: RanceIVartanian Resident is at the door.
Lo: goodbye professor sir..
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian smiles
Prof. Rance I. Vartanian: Good night
Lo smiles and darts away to tell the urchins