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*Announcement tacked up everywhere around the city, except the Academy*


Citizens of New Babbage,

It is with a heavy heart that I must now divulge priveleged information which I had promised myself I would never reveal.  Though my reputation is, to my utter sorrow, apparently permanently tarnished in the eyes of many in this community, I have always considered myself a man of honor.  As such, I intended to take the information I am about to impart to my grave with me.  However, the recent actions of Mr Mornington, have left me little choice: the very reason for Mayor Tenk’s prolonged absense is Mr Mornington himself.

As can come as no surprise to those who have recently been following Mr Mornington’s climb from popular and wealthy hotelier to deranged despot, much has been weighing on the man’s mind.  It would weigh on anyone’s mind to know within your very soul to be the cause of the misery you claim to alleviate.

Those who know well our hardworking mayor understand he entertains certain quirks of character.  Most overlook these quirks, since the pros so obviously outweigh the cons, when it comes to Clockwinder Tenk.  Mr Mornington, in his zeal for power, took his recent Christmas Buffet as an excuse to direly insult the mayor, sending the small man into a powerful rage.  As his trusted assistant, I attempted to console and alleviate the insult, but it could not be undone.

Tenk fled the city, fit to be tied.  I was left with the responsibilty of acting mayor, which no doubt caused great umbrage to the assistant mace holder of the city.

Despite what many claim, I take my responsibility as acting mayor with utmost seriousness.  I understand that there are several who consider my methods heavy-handed, draconian, and dictatorial.  Sadly, after much reflection, I must agree with them.

It is with maximum humility that I must acknowledge that my curfew plan was met with widespread derision, and not without good reason. It was a plan drawn up under diress, after receiving a mountain of correspondence from disparate citizens demanding something be done about the recent horrors which have afflicted our fine city.  Plans created under such circumstances are rarely successful, this one least of all. 

The initial plan was for a brief curfew, which would give time to investigate these heinous crimes, and hopefully keep the population safe whilst doing so.  However, Mornington took the opportunity to use his underworld connexions (which had been rumored, though never confirmed) to attempt to cripple an already delicate situation, by demanding citywide labor strikes which caused much strife and prolonged the curfew efforts.  These are clearly not the actions of someone with the best interests of the city at heart.

 Mr Mornington discovered that the city of New Babbage is not crushed so easily, however, as most public houses around the city made the best of the situation, setting up cots and caring for citizens through the long winter nights.  Mr Mornington’s reaction to this solidarity and ingenuity? To pronounce himself Prime Minister of his own sovereign land.

For my part, I now realize how sloppily put together the initial curfew Night Patrol was, and wish to rectify the situation, whilst it may still be possible.  I have dissolved the original Night Patrol effective immediately, and already sworn in a plethora of new peace officers, young bright-eyed and optimistic officers who wish nothing but to aid and assist this city, to get it back on its feet so that it may be in better condition than it was left by Mayor Tenk, when he ultimately arrives back.  With the cooperation of the citizens, I am certain this investigation can be cleared up in next to no time.

Mornington will pay for his actions when Tenk returns, so I urge citizens to not attempt to take the law into their own hands, and to indulge the assistant mace holder in his delusions until he can be safely dealt with.


Humbly, and with great Humility,

Mr Osgoode Underby, Acting Mayor of the City-State of New Babbage










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  1. The Reporter The Reporter January 30, 2013

    “Well I’ll be a son-of-a….,” he poured over the page one more time.



    • Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery January 30, 2013

      Dear me, are you crying, Mr. Reporter?  *hands him a handkerchief to mop up the pouring*.

  2. Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs January 30, 2013

    “Have you seen this?”  Mariah Lanfier handed a leaflet to Bookworm, who was in her office area upstairs, working on some correspondence.

    Bookworm took the leaflet and scanned it.  Snorting, she tossed it into the wastebasket.  “I don’t know what it was that caused the Clockwinder to leave.  But whatever it was–that wasn’t it.”

    “Still–you did mention that Tenk seemed sulky at the party.”

    “True,” Bookworm mused.  “But there’s much that can turn him sulky.  But to try to convince us that Mr. Mornington deliberately insulted him–well, to do that would be the height of stupidity, and whatever else Mr. Mornington is, he’s not stupid.”

    Mariah nodded.  “What about this new patrol?”

    “Oh, I knew something about that.  Tepic sent me word yesterday that something was in the works.”  As she explained it to Mariah, the older woman began to grin.  “This should be interesting,” she said.

    “That it should,” Bookworm replied with some amusement.  Then she sobered.  “Though whether this move will end the strikes, I don’t know.”

    “In some ways, I hope it won’t,” replied Mariah.  “It’s certainly been a windfall for my former… associates.  Speaking of which, I just got word that one of those associates has arrived with medical and food supplies for the asylum.”

    “Good!”  Bookworm stood up from her desk.  “I was concerned about how low those were getting.  Shall we go help Dr. Maddox and Lisa unload and store them?”  At Mariah’s nod, the two women went downstairs, grabbed up cloaks and jackets, and went out into the chilly morning.

  3. Victor1st Mornington Victor1st Mornington January 30, 2013

    Ohhhhhhhhhh you’r good Underby….i’m gonna have to think on the reply….

  4. Arconus Arkright Arconus Arkright January 30, 2013

    Ooooooo, them’s some dirty, dirty politics. Well played, Underby.

    I suddenly feel an urgent need to bathe.

  5. The Reporter The Reporter January 30, 2013

    Mr. Underby! Mr. Underby! A moment, for the Snitch?

    “Please don’t be alarmed, I followed some urchins in…nice bit of work that. Oh no, no…you won’t have to trouble yourself with that….just one question and I’m sure you’ll want to the chance to hear it.”

    “What do you intend to do when the Marines take City Hall and you’re called to mast?”

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