Skip to toolbar
Press "Enter" to skip to content

A New Country on your doorstep! Three cheers! Huzzah, and so on.

<Posted in the Letters section of the New Babbage New Newsheet>

 

I know many of you have longed for the halcyon days of Obolenskidonia, when brain-eating miscreants were kept from the streets, and the urchins were finally doing some good, working in the scone factory, and not wandering about thieving and drinking.

Well, I have good news for you!

A solicitor, Mister Dewey, has uncovered copies of some previously-unknown documents from those earlier, better days, and discovered that due some zoning issues, the island which has been known as Lighthouse Island, and more recently, Obolensky Island, was legally detached from the City-State of New Babbage.

And, as per the city’s charter, now that it has been detached for more than a year, it may not be reclaimed, and stands as an independent nation, ruled by it’s owner, that dashing and suave dictator-about-town, Doctor G. Obolensky.

So welcome your newest neighbor, New Babbage!   The island nation of Obolenskidonia stands ready to engage in diplomatic talks, and arrange treaties that will be beneficial to all!

-A Concerned Citizen

Spread the love

27 Comments

  1. Arconus Arkright Arconus Arkright November 9, 2010

    A shameful monument to one man’s depraved experiments! Destined, no doubt, to become a haven for rakes and inebriates and women of questionable morals until it is swallowed by the sea… sinking under the weight of iniquity and turpitude! Unnatural and unkind!! And every time that pernicious purveyor of perfidy drags one of his unholy, abominable perversions of science to the shores of Babbage, such an import tariff he will pay! Make him *pay*, Clockwinder… Make. Him. Pay!

     

  2. Aeolus Cleanslate Aeolus Cleanslate November 9, 2010

    *pages frantically through the legal documents delivered by messenger from Obolensky’s solicitor*

    … cr*p.

     

    *thinks about calling out the militia*

    *hesitates*

    *hurries off to the archives to do some research*

     

    • Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein November 9, 2010

      ::leans over and rearranges Cleanslate’s letters so that “cr*p” reads as “carp” instead and nods:: Much more polite and confounds the dickens out of people. Especially if you have talent such as my mother’s for producing said fish at such an opportune moment as to slap someone with it as punctuation of the exclamation.
      ::ties a note in a bottle to an o. vulgaris, and watches it play with the bottle until it finally slipped off into the water, headed for Dr. Obolensky’s island lab.::

      “Esteemed Dr. Obolensky,
      Or would that be Emperor now? Congratulations on your newly founded island nation. Once I return to New Babbage from my little forced trip homeward, (read: lapse of Internet service), perhaps it would be proper of me to get my papers in order and stop by for tea along with an empirewarming gift of a bottle of wine or champagne.

      Sincerely,
      Dr. Sonnerstein

      P.S. If you wish to tip the messenger, they quite adore crabs. I do hope you don’t keep any as pets, do you? If my little friend has already crawled off by now, you may want to check on them as they might be in peril by this point. If such is the case, my deepest apologies and I will endeavor to remedy it.”

  3. Mr Tenk Mr Tenk November 9, 2010

    This is an OUTRAGE!

    *picks up documents from Mr. Cleanslates desk and pages through them*

    …can he do this?

    *hurries off to the archives to do some research on tariff laws*

     

  4. Tepic Harlequin Tepic Harlequin November 9, 2010

    errrrmmmm…. don’t the island sit right in the middle of the seaways into the harbor..?  an how far does his control over the sealanes go..? 

    Tepic thinks of a castle he saw once, (Chepstow) built to control and extract fees from any shipping going up, or down, the river….

    oh! an does this mean i need a passport to go admire Dr O’s glass elephant?

    • Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein November 9, 2010

      ::the quarter Chinese doctor’s brows lift, leaning over Tepic as he peered down at the boy:: What’s this about a glass elephant?

    • Jimmy Branagh Jimmy Branagh November 9, 2010

      Yeh Tepic, Oy’d avoid runnin’ me raft too close ta Obo … Oboski … whatevah.  ‘ee’s loible ta imprison ya ifn ya don’t pye th’ fees.

      (Jim’s typist runs to find his copy of “The Mouse That Roared”)

       

  5. Zaida Gearbox Zaida Gearbox November 9, 2010

    Doc O jes’ laike de troll dat live under bridges in de stories…. ‘cept him live on an island.

  6. Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs November 9, 2010

    Wait…documents and laws from Obolenskidonia? But he illegally took over New Babbage–can they really have any legal force?

    ((I assume that’s Mr. Dewey from the prestegious law firm of Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe? *grin*))

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk November 9, 2010

      *braces for a delegation of Steelhead lawyers to review this*

      • Zaida Gearbox Zaida Gearbox November 9, 2010

        Wouldn’t Babbage be outside dere jurisdiction?  An’ Babbage laws different from Steelhead laws an’ all…..

        • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk November 9, 2010

          babbagers are sensible people, and like sensible people, we killed all our lawyers. now we have no one left that can decipher legalease, you see… so…. we have to bring lawyers from Steelhead in as consultants. and you know how consultants are… they don’t know the right answer either, but they certainly know how to make a buck prolonging the solution… and for some silly reason we believe what they come up with. that is why the 6 o’clock news has more time devoted to what is coming up on the broadcast than actual news stories, see? and that is why people only tune in at 6:21 to get the weather bit.

          • Mr Underby Mr Underby November 10, 2010

            I suspect Miss Toussaint would be surprised to hear that she is deceased.

            • Grendel Footman Grendel Footman November 10, 2010

              that’s true, last I heard, she was lawyer-like

          • Zaida Gearbox Zaida Gearbox November 10, 2010

            Some of us just type in weather.yahoo.com when we want to know what the weather is going to be.

  7. Sheryl Skytower Sheryl Skytower November 9, 2010

    *nibbles on cookies*

    Hmm… I wonder if there are any “special” bonuses for moving over there…

    *looks at half-empty plate*

    ;)

  8. Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger November 9, 2010

    2 words.

     

    Anaconda Plan.

  9. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon November 9, 2010

    Hmm… Maybe I should found the state of Clockworktopia? After all the power station is larger than the Doctors island and has an abundant exportable resource to fund the state treasury!

    Let us march to freedom! By staying at home!

    • Kristos Sonnerstein Kristos Sonnerstein November 9, 2010

      Friggatriskaidekaphobia what? Terrible name! Perhaps Clockworkington or Automatopia. Or even Automatadonia… Nono, that one sounds more like a matador. Ole! (::squints at the iPhone:: This thing has a tild, but no accent mark?)

  10. Queer Hermit Queer Hermit November 9, 2010

    My My My…

    Well Doctor, you did tell me that you had a small surprise awaiting the citizens of the sooty city.  An independent city-state is not what I had envisioned but it will do for a start.  Might I enquire if you are looking for an ambassador to conduct the external affairs of your glorious empire within the confines of New Babbage?  If Baron Wulfenbach can do it, why can’t you?

    • Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs November 9, 2010

      An excellent idea, Miss Hermit! I’ll be glad to offer my services in such a capacity, and stand ready to come to the Observatory to consult with you, Doctor. You can trust me–after all, I *am* intrinsically harmless, aren’t I?

      *hides tool box, weapons, incendiary devices behind her*

      • Queer Hermit Queer Hermit November 10, 2010

        Ah…but Miss Hienrichs you already serve in that capacity to Herr Wulfenbach.  Would this not be a conflict of interest? Of course, if you feel the need to pursue your relationship with Doctor O to a “deeper” level I would certain not stand in your way.

        Is that bells and chimes I hear in the background, and oh look…could that be doves circling overhead?

        *smiles gently and refills her cup of sake*

      • Queer Hermit Queer Hermit November 11, 2010

        In any matter Doctor O, please feel free to contact me in case my services should prove beneficial to your new city-state.  Perhaps we could start by negotiating with New Babbage over air quality standards?

  11. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon November 9, 2010

    Maybe you are right, I will need to research the perfect name before declaring independence. It would not do to make a country with a silly name, no not good at all!

  12. Breezy Carver Breezy Carver November 9, 2010

    /me looks up .. oh dear oh my .. Hide your cookies , your cakes .. all that is good ..

    “stands as an independent nation, ruled by it’s owner, that dashing and suave dictator-about-town, Doctor G. Obolensky.”

     

    That is just wrong .. so very very wrong ..

  13. Lans Starsider Lans Starsider November 10, 2010

    Hmm, you know, from a military standpoint, this isn’t really too much to worry about.  I mean, his new nation consists of, what?  That speck of a rock he’s calling an Island?  If he actually tried to wage any sort of warfare, you could easily blockade him in with a rusty destroyer, a handfull of mosquito boats, and an urchin in a weather balloon.  Just keep our Clockwinder away from giant milk bottles this time and we shouldn’t have too much to worry about.

Leave a Reply