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A matter of sheep

TIS Nefarious Device Storage Log
Device name: Cranville Biological Duplication Engine
AKA: Clone-o-matic
Storage Date: 10 Jul 188x (NB Ref 7)
Location: Cupboard Bin 25, Level 3
Threat level: 4
Device secured by Stingray team 3 (Beckett). Returned to New Babbage and secured in Cupboard.
Personal Journal:
Next time, just lock it up. Next time, don’t bring it home first.
It seemed innocent enough. The team brought it in and they unloaded it in the back room of the plant, so of course Kimika and I took a look, gave her a chance to poke at the works and make sure it didn’t have anything dangerous or poisonous or explosive inside…and I decided to grab a bath and go to bed. Mistake 1.
I woke up early to get the movers on the way and I saw a sheep trundle out of the factory and head out towards the field beside the quarry. Not wholly unusual, but not expected either. I got my coffee and walked out onto the floor and saw another sheep cropping grass out by the greenhouse. After seeing a third, then a fourth, in such close proximity….
The machine sat there, thrumming gently in the morning light. I checked the control box and the counter read 50. Apparently it had been running all night.
I tried to round them up quickly and quietly, but when you suddenly have an influx of smart genetically augmented rapidly reproduced sheep in a fairly contained area, people tend to notice.
It took a while to round them all up, but we got most of them contained. Kimika did insist on keeping a few of them, and of course we managed to keep the blame squarely pointed at the ‘usual suspects’.

(Thanks to my favorite co-conspirator for not only making the sheep appear in such numbers first, and then building the machine to blame it on. Additional thanks to Mr Osterham for denying the existance of a New Babbage Torchwood)

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12 Comments

  1. Mr Tenk Mr Tenk July 11, 2014

    you mean all those sheep wasn’t maggie’s fault?

    • Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger July 11, 2014

      As far as you know, officially, yes.  It is all Maggie’s fault. Failing that, we blame the usual suspects.

      (I hear it was a tax scheme….)

      • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham July 13, 2014

        No, I’m quite certain that it was another one of Victor’s foul schemes to supplant Babbage’s premier source of protein, the majestic wiggyfish, with haggis and mutton.  No doubt he already has corner locations targeted for contructing a chain of “McMornington’s” resturaunts.

        And if it does happen, you heard it here first.

        • Pilipo Underwood Pilipo Underwood July 13, 2014

          Oh no, not Mutton Nuggets!

          • Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery July 13, 2014

            That’s not a very nice name to call Mr. Mornington.

            • Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg July 14, 2014

              I think “Mutton Nugget” has a rather endearing quality to it, actually.

              • Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery July 15, 2014

                “Mutton Nugget” – singular – could be regarded as endearing but “Mutton Nuggets”  – plural – might imply a certain oddness of particulars.

            • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham July 15, 2014

              I don’t know about that.  “Old Mutton Nuggets” has a certain martial air to it.  Sort of like “old blood and guts” except more with sheep.  Perhaps Vic is a veteran of the fearsome “Haggis Wars” of ’54?

              Besides, it’s got to be a better moniker than “old goat legs.”

    • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham July 14, 2014

      Just a matter of applying deductive reasoning to the fact at hand, Clockwinder.

       

      Well, that and knowing what a thorough scoundrel Victor really is. ;)

      • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk July 14, 2014

        he’ll prolly call it ‘McAndrews’ after his uncle.

  2. Delilah Lungwort Delilah Lungwort July 20, 2014

    Personally I just wish my rendering plant were fully operational, rather than having to farm out such services. More delegation is evidently needed here. Perhaps a stockyard needs erecting in the skies above Babbage to take advantage of this unexpected boon.

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