Dear daddy Gunner,
I’ve finally had a chance to have a sit down with this
parchment and inkwell and tell you about my visit with Uncle Edward and Aunt
Christine. Well daddy dearest, when you said that New Babbage is an “eye
opening place” you were gravely mistaking. It’s an eye opening, earth
shattering, stomach clinching, lung defecating, soot den. This certainly cannot
be the “culturing experience” you attested I would be having. Is it? If that’s the case I would have rather
come with you and mother to the IEC in Amsterdam as death by boredom beats
death by being swallowed by a monster any day.
Now daddy, I know by now you’ve rolled your eyes enough
times to warrant another eye surgery but I’ll have you know that as much as I
adore my beloved relatives…they’re out to get me. I foresee a horrid mystery novel within many
cheesy antiques ending with my ultimate demise of either being eaten by these viciously
adorable wiggy fish creatures or married to a very bad reincarnate of the creature
from the black lagoon. I mean honestly, the teeth on this “man” would of made
your sheers look dull.
Well, this letter must be brief as I am going back
downstairs to consume half a batch of Aunt Christine’s toffees. Then once she
is asleep, I will consume the other half as I am indeed a growing young woman
who has endured much trauma since my arrival. Perhaps Uncle Edward will help me
decipher grandfathers graphing book a bit more to keep my mind off of how much
I despise you.
Moira L. Faraday
P.S. Give mommy a kiss for me because I do still love her. HER.
((OOC Commentary welcomed.))