Fred is The 200+ I.Q. Genius
Bird that lives with the Szusters
Well, first I would like to thank my other animal friends in
the house who saved me from that Swedish chef Gatsby hired… The Idiot mistook
me for a chicken… I am happy Gatsby fired him but he is also suing the Szusters
because he was mauled by a Giant Panda…
Wow, the people of New Babbage seem to be really liking
winter as much as I do!!! They are out skating, sledding, and making snow men!
I am sure they MUST like winter better than summer just like me. All they do in
summer is go swimming and we all know you can cut a hole in the ice and do that
in winter. I think I will give New Babbage a special surprise! I am building a
device to keep New Babbage in perpetual winter. According to my calculations I
can keep it to a balmy 20F in summer. I am sure I will be a hero when I turn
the device on this spring… The only thing I need is a small supply of Rhodium and
perhaps a large bar of Platinum… I need to think of a way to ask Gatsby if he
can get me these things without ruining the surprise…
Now *that* is a fiend. Snow, more frightening than timelocks and zombies.
Luckly I didn’t give Fred any precious and rare metals… I did convince him to ummm tone it down a bit…. So he constructed “Fred’s Gianormus Miniature Weather Changing Machine~ A Szusterworks Project” with my help… It basicly will throw healthy amounts of smog into the air AND keep his igloo cold all summer…. He is very very excited! And he wants me to let you all know you can come visit when you miss winter.
Now about that Swedish chef…. Does a fellow have to go all the way to Sweden to hire one of those?
/me wouldn’t mind a little Swedish chicken right about now.
I think the Swedish chef mainy resides stateside…
At least his swedish is about as good as what ‘swedish-americans’ happily tries to call swedish and communicate with their..homeland. Much to our dismay as we are to kind to tell them we dont understand shit.
Though, I must say that Fred is a big fan of King Oscar II. He sends him fan mail every time I get him a can of King Oscar Sardines. Fred seems to have an either really good relationship with European monarchs… or really
bad ones… Like the time he tried sitting on Queen Victoria’s lap at a royal
Christmas Party thinking she was Mrs Claus…
((*grin* We used to have a King Oscar’s restaurant in my hometown. (Here’s a photo of it from the 1970s.) I never ate there, though. Probably should have.))
Ah, well, i have several framed pictures of him at my store, i will of course sent him some for his Igloo.