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A Brief Petition to Miss Hienrichs

Dear Miss Hienrichs,

 I am writing you this brief message firstly to offer salutations of a sincere nature, and secondly to ask a small favour. I was recently chatting with a nice young insurance salesman who convinced me I do not have enough insurance. Some of what he was selling was pure nonsense, I mean rodents are inevitable, flooding a longshot and black mold an urban myth. But that’s not to say all of his policies were scams. Three that intrigued me were coverage for loss and damages in the event of: a) the zombie apocalypse; b) rampaging killer robots or robotic enhanced beings; and c) invading extraterrestrials.

 I know what you’re thinking—how could a man as smart as Emerson not be insured against zombies, killer robots or extraterrestrials. Well put those concerns to rest I am hopping aboard the insurance bandwagon. In fact, I am approaching this with the fervour of a recent convert. The only problem is the insurance people, nice as they are, feel I have some sort of credibility issue in two key areas: 1) stating my personal worth and 2) with matters related to finances. Therefore they are requesting that I have a guarantor co sign my application, agreeing to assume all financial responsibility should my cheques not have sufficient funds to cover. Not to worry, there is a very small chance of that happening.

As I am respectful of your time, I didn’t want to trouble you with all the ‘small print legalese’ I am only sending the signature page.  Just sign and date where I have indicated. You can slip it under my door at your earliest convenience.


Your noble neighbour,

 Sir Sir Emerson Lighthouse,

 twice knighted, thrice twice retired


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  1. Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs July 25, 2016

    “Take a look at this.”  Bookworm tossed the letter to Mariah, who scanned it and snorted in amusement.  Then she looked over the sheet at Bookworm.  “You aren’t, I hope?”

    “Of course not.  But I need to find some sort of excuse that will satisfy him…”  Bookworm chewed on her lip for a moment, then grabbed a blank sheet of paper and a pen.

    Dear Mr. Lighthouse,

    I have received your request.  While it is an interesting proposition, I feel I must decline.  I don’t believe it would be appropriate, as Militia captain, to entangle myself financially with any New Babbage citizen in this fashion.  It could result in misunderstandings that would be difficult to untangle.  I hope you can understand this, and I wish you luck with your endeavor.


    Bookworm Hienrichs

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