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The Storytelling Category

There are still some blank lines on the map that drive Mr. Pearse absolutely batty while most of the rest of us are sleeping. Do you know the names of those streets and canals? Convince me.

Note: please don’t use real world memorials, most of the streets and canals are already named for real world figures after the initial round of street naming, which, in my opinion, was entirely too self-concious. Let’s use what is left for something more creative.

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  1. Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer March 10, 2013

    Alderdice Avenue is named afteer Mrs Philomena Alderdice, who, in spite of her thick-as-a-whale-omelet husband’s defeatist attitude, managed to invent the steam driven doggie door.  Her invention was a rousing success, however, she was attacked and subsequently gave in to damage given by a hellhound who happened upon her invention in late Spring, 1852.  Her own poodle, Trufflebits, went missing that same season and was never seen again.

  2. Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery March 10, 2013

    Bob Twitt Alley is named after Emmelina Twitt, the mayoral candidate of fame (viz: Tales of New Babbage vol.2, available now, get it while it’s steaming).  Originally behind Ruby’s Public House, it might have migrated owing to building works and tipsy mistakes in the records office.  In earlier times it had been known as Grope Lane, but we in our times know not the reason why.

  3. Zaros Xue Zaros Xue March 12, 2013

    Bead Street is a place shrouded in confusion, many say it’s just an ordinary street, others say a giant turkey lurks there that eats all it can every half-moon and some even say it’s the location of a pirate kings secret lair. Of course all those suggestions are dead wrong, well… the first one at least. Bead Street is however a location everyone suggests you keep your pockets empty within, although no-one is quite sure why, at least until now. With the addition of Borrower doors it has become increasingly clear that there are indeed tiny people living in the city walls and that they love to steal. This street in particular is rife with their grubby mits, should your pockets be unfasended and unwatched you shall find yourself with nothing but pocket lint left! Unless of course you’re carrying a bead, in which case the Borrowers take nothing. Why this is no-one knows. Could the beads act as a repelant? A secret token? Or are we all just a bit mental? Either way everyone always carries a bead in Bead Street.

  4. Mr Underby Mr Underby March 12, 2013

    Weaver Street, known locally as Crook Alley.  Originally a narrow street crammed with tiny textile shops.  The Great Fire later ravaged the area, and though the hearty stone builds were largely undamaged by the inferno, the same could not be said for the copious reams of textiles within.  Financial losses were devestating, and the street was largely abandoned for years, becoming the flophouses and meeting places for various unsavory types.  Oddly, these nefarious citizens eventually began to slowly rebuild the street, though mainly for themselves, to continue with their underworld enterprises – hence the nickname of Crook Alley.

  5. Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse March 12, 2013

    Curdle’s Way

    The name of old rural road running north from the city to the Dairy Cooperative. This long and winding road is heavily traveled for at least 9 months of the year during the early morning and late afternoon hours by farmers carting their creams and cheeses to town.  It has long been known for the deep furrowed ruts that are especially treacherous in the spring when they fill with muck and cling to wagon wheels with a tenacious disregard for clothing. Amongst the farmers in Dairy it is generally agreed that only a fool travels Curdle’s Way during the spring thaw until at least three weeks after that last of the snows.

  6. Edward Pearse Edward Pearse March 13, 2013

    Can I make a plea for some boring ones? I know they’re not creative storywise but “North Road” or “Westgate” or “Newbridge” seem to be seriously lacking.

    • Cyan Rayna Cyan Rayna March 13, 2013

      Like Main Street… most towns have a Main Street do we?

      • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk March 13, 2013

        main street might be an americanism. we’re older than that.

        • Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger March 13, 2013

          I may have to agree with Tenk on this one, as comfortable as most US folks are with having a Main Street.  Doing a quick mapspot of a few towns in the UK, I see thinks like place named streets (Manchester Rd, London Rd) and things like Cordwainer’s Court and Lord Mayor’s Walk, Kingsway Road, and a lot of (directional)+gates or (thing)+gates…

        • Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery March 13, 2013

          The English equivalent is High Street; a few centuries older, but extremely dull in modern usage. A highway, though, could be interesting, and be just the place for, well, highwaymen.

          • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse March 13, 2013

            Let me just voice my support right now for ‘High Street’

            • Tepic Harlequin Tepic Harlequin March 13, 2013

              We are a steampunk city of inventors and slightly unbalanced scientists (treanslation: totally loopy!), so if we have a High Street, how high is it going to be, how is it going to gain enough lift, and as for the fights over hydraulic pistons versus cavorite road bed, well……

              • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk March 17, 2013

                it might be underground… you have to be high to fall through the hole that gets you there.

                • Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery March 17, 2013

                  I think an underground High Street is so very Babbage.

                  • Edward Pearse Edward Pearse March 17, 2013

                    Oddly that reminds me of Down Street. Neverwhere here we come :-)

          • Martin Malus Martin Malus March 13, 2013

            In older parts of the United States the main road is often named for the town it goes to. 

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk March 13, 2013

      sure. we’re seriously overloaded with memorial names.

      • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse March 13, 2013

        I agree one hundred percent – as a city we have enough memorial names. What we need, though, is a living memorial name. I propose Lighthouse Lane. The Emerson Expressway is also available. It just makes so much sense.

  7. Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold March 13, 2013

    Hardy St.
    Every road if it could talk would tell stories of the laughter, tears, goodbyes, reunions, crimes, and everything else it has seen. Hardy got its name by being drawn from a hat, but the street has survived explosions, sinkholes, mad science, and everything else the city has endured for decades. While it has done so no more so than any other street in Babbage, those that live along it like to think otherwise.

  8. Glaubrius Valeska Glaubrius Valeska March 13, 2013

    Lots of German cities have Ringstraβe, the name for the street that encircled the community, I think dictated by the inside of any defensive walls that might have been present. Is there a Victorian analog?

    • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

      Or, alternatively, we could name one after the longest street in Germany:  Einbahnstrasse.

  9. Dee Wells Dee Wells March 15, 2013

    Bellows Boulevard seems to have gotten its name from an unfortunate practise common at one end of it during a short period after the street’s construction. Due to some poor choices during the original decorating, The Fly And Ointment Pub had some rotten luck with ‘food poisoning,’ which actually turned out to be caused by inner ear anomalies triggered by the vomitous colour choices. Because of both the head-spinning colours and the inescapable odour inside, the popular custom was to drink quickly, which of course contributed to the volume of flow. After firing several cooks (and the execution of one, either Dolt or Dufus from Falun, according to two official sources), the owner Buford Smiley grew weary of chartreuse and redid the interior, after which no more cookie pie on the sidewalk (i.e. no one waddled out into the street and did the ‘bellows”). The common refrain of “Drink fast and belch hard at Bellows Boulevard” had already been included on a city map, and some time later signs appeared with the new name. Similar to Diaphragm Downs behind the original Pirate’s Spleen, but without an actual trough.[i]  Both streets were once credited with popularizing the term ‘minefield.’

    [i] As a side note, the first Pirate’s Spleen was itself originally noted for using contaminated well-water to water down every drink it served, including water. The only drink it didn’t cut was Budweiser, which would be noticeably heavier with the inclusion of water (especially water with glowing metal fragments in it–originally thought to have health benefits, which has now been called into question. Let us marvel at the safety we enjoy living in such enlightened times. *tightens her corset until the lights dim a bit, downs the last sip of absinthe  and steps on tall heels out into the coal smoke*).

  10. Nathan Adored Nathan Adored March 17, 2013

    Do we have a Moreaux Street or a Morlock Avenue yet?

      • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk March 17, 2013

        For Moses Mureaux, who was the original Baron of Port Babbage and the first one to turn that troublesome lot on the top if the hill into a winter skating park.

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk March 17, 2013

      Moreau Lane runs along Rutherford Square, which was the original location of Huxley Hall.

  11. Mack Blackwell Mack Blackwell March 17, 2013

    The street sign there is faded away, and no one accurately recalls what it once said, the locals however call it “Boggarts Way”; a particularly dim passage which never catches the sun even in the best of weather. Some say that it is the passage that 6 children went missing in one fall. Some say they were taken by a madman as subjects for experiements from which they did not survive, others that they were taken by monsters from beneath the ground. Either way those who must travel through say that on six nights of every fall, if you stand atop the manhole, you will hear the sound of children.

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk March 17, 2013

      knows where ” baggers way ” got painted over…..

  12. Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer April 4, 2013

    Any winners in this category?

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk April 4, 2013

      “for the fame it will bring you”

      • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

        Is that anything like doing something “for the honor of the regiment?”

  13. Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer April 4, 2013

    Ah, gotcha! And a fine thing that is.

  14. Sheryl Skytower Sheryl Skytower April 5, 2013

    I’ve always thought “Dragons Down” would be a nice place…*snorgles merrily to self*

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk April 5, 2013

      keep it going as looooong as you want!

  15. Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

    In honor of the sound made by happy sugar consuming clockworks everywhere, I propose Snorgle Street.

    There should also be an Ammonia Avenue, in celebration of the city’s glorious industrial heritage.

    • Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger April 5, 2013

      Until we seek, until we find,  Ammonia Avenue

      • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

        To seek, to find, and not to yield.  Now there’s a fine sentiment for Babbage.

      • Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg April 5, 2013

        We gonna rock down to Ammonia Avenue, and then we’ll take it higher.

        • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

          Shouldn’t that be Electric Avenue?  You know, over by the power plant?

      • Nathan Adored Nathan Adored April 6, 2013

        If we have an Ammonia Avenue, there has got to be a pub there. It should specialise in cold drinks, and have a very elaborate and extensive refrigeration system for them, and for other things, that extends though the whole place.

        The pub should have as its sign a very fancy little cage, gold inlayed, ornate.  The cage should be glass-enclosed, and also highly refrigerated.  Inside this cage, there should be a finely crafted sculpture, carved out of that which the street is named for, of a parrot or a cockatoo, by a very skilled ice sculptor or the like.  And the pub should be named…

        (Wait forrr iiiit…!)

        “Ammonia Bird…”



  16. Jimmy Branagh Jimmy Branagh April 5, 2013

    Wrong Street.  Somehow, you end up not where you want to go.

    • Jedburgh30 Dagger Jedburgh30 Dagger April 5, 2013

      You can’t get there from here.

      • Ceejay Writer Ceejay Writer April 5, 2013

        Isn’t that every street in New Jersey?

        • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

          I thought that in Babbage all roads lead to the nearest bar.

      • Caesar Osterham Caesar Osterham April 5, 2013

        Sure you can get there from here.  You just have to take Snorgle Street past the Emmerson Espressway, then hang a right after you get past the intersection with Ammonia Avenue. 

        Piece of cake, really.

  17. Grendel Footman Grendel Footman April 7, 2013

    Most people avoid this street, rumors of dark creatures composed of felt scuttling in the shadows, and voices whispering mad alphabets on the air.  Creatures formed from moden day myth are said to dwell in  the spaces between reality, such as the Trash Dweller,  and the Hungering Creature.  The street sign is long faded but you can tell how to get to it by the gibbering blue romanian sitting on the curb obessively counting. They say there’s a large bird that lairs on the rooftops on this street, the King in Yellow of Sesame Street…



    and on a less goofy note, Sideways Street, noone really knows why it was named Sideways, but  the name stuck

    • Mr Tenk Mr Tenk April 7, 2013

      mmm, spooky!

      ‘sideways street’ reminds me of the ‘needless alley’ i came across in birmingham, england.

      • Arconus Arkright Arconus Arkright April 8, 2013

        Still my favorite street name: “Foolish Pleasure Court” in Maryland

  18. MacKnight Culdesac MacKnight Culdesac April 19, 2013

    Forgive my late entrance into the discussion — I have always been more of an observer — but Sideways Street has reminded me of a story which may be relevant.

    As the story goes, there was once a cemetery in ancient Babbage where one end was reserved for the nobility and the other end for their servants.  The graves on the noble side were very large, 2 by 3 meters at the minimum, while on the side where the servants were buried the grave plots were less than one meter square.  The common explanation for this was that, while the nobility were laid to their rest, their servants were interred in an upright position.  This was argued to be sensible, since the servants were always on their feet anyway, and an upright grave took much less space in the cemetery.  When people came to visit a grave site, they would be met at the gate by the grounds keeper, who would ask them “Vertically or horizontally?”, enquiring, of course, on the orientation of the grave, and thus the  path to be taken to reach it.  The narrow path leading to the servants’ side of the cemetery therefore became known as Vertic Alley, while the larger street leading to the noble side became Horizont Alley.

     After the cemetery and it’s memory had faded into oblivion, the creative names of these two alleys were used quite successfully by a businessman who built an inn and café at their intersection, at the former site of the groundsman’s cottage.  The entrance to the inn was placed on Horizont Alley, and the inn was named “Lay Me Down”, while the entrance to the coffee house was on Vertic Alley, and it was called “Stand Me Up”.  His advertisements became well known throughout the region.  “Lay Me Down, Horizont Alley” and “Stand Me Up, Vertic Alley” were perhaps the best known advertising slogans in the era before the Great Fire.

     The cemetery has been gone for centuries, and I am not certain if anything now remains of the inn and coffeehouse, or of the two alleys.  The Great Fire erased so much of our history.





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