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The Reduction of Tubby

Strange, high pitched singing has been heard in all quarters of New Babbage over the past few days, accompanied by the pounding of small feet….

“We’re not big an we’re not tall,
We are tough though mighty small!”

Was heard by passersby from on top of the Palisade Wall, early one morning. along with an exhortation to “GET THOSE FEET UP!”….

“Urchins have no house or home,
Streets are where we love to roam!”

Sounded through the open windows of the Gangplank as patrons supped their favorite tipples of a gentle summer evening….

“Gruel and oats are good for me.
Can run the streets and swim the sea!”

Drifted on the air of the Dockside, followed by a half heard conversation.

“What yer mean yer can’t swim?”

“Geezzz…. guess that’s next on the program then….”

“What? no, silly, yer won’t drown, look at yer, yer’ll float like a barrel!”

Up past the Dagon Hall, drowning out the drone of the gloomy worshipers, a chorus of young voices rang out….

“Tubby’s fat an awful dim,
We running him till he is slim!”

The reduction of Tubby had begun in ernest…

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10 Comments

  1. Sky Melnik Sky Melnik July 27, 2011

    Sky overheard the singing and laughed quietly to herself, shaking her head a bit. Poor little fella, Tepic and the others would probably run him ragged until he became as quick as he needed to be to survive. “Good on them,” she muttered to no one in particular.

    • Scottie Melnik Scottie Melnik July 27, 2011

      Scottie nudged Sky and whispering through a fit of laughter, “Maybe you should cook for him. That’ll slim him down quick…”

      • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse July 27, 2011

        Emerson hears the crash of the frying pan on Scottie’s head from all the way down in the Waterways.

      • Sky Melnik Sky Melnik July 27, 2011

        Sky gave Scottie a bit of a snarl before whispering back something about making a knuckle sandwich for him.

  2. Verlia Bilavio Verlia Bilavio July 27, 2011

    Make Tubby build his own stairs to run up and down! I bet the church would approve of a combination of building and physical fitness.

  3. Cadmus Lupindo Cadmus Lupindo July 27, 2011

    Just send him to Bump, and be done with it.

    • Bianca Namori Bianca Namori July 27, 2011

      You are a cruel…sick…twisted man…

      You must come over for dinner sometime.

  4. Zaida Gearbox Zaida Gearbox July 27, 2011

    Zaida offers a nice cool drink to Tubby as he sits crying and exhausted at the end of the day.

    “I can’t!  I just can’t!”  Tubby cried.

    Patting him sympathetically Zaida whispers, “You can.  Your friends are with you.  We gonna help you.”

  5. Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon July 27, 2011

    He could climb the Tesla tower! The combination of therapeutic electricity and exercise should be most beneficial!

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