(a letter left on Mr. Lighthouse’s desk in the event of his unlikely return)
Dear Mr Lighthouse,
I will confess, I had no intention of taking advantage of your hospitality. But after two late nights at Ahab’s I found myself peckish and tired and realized just how much closer your cozy little abode was than my own sparse apartment.
You did make the offer of its use, after all, and you ARE out of town for some time…
So I thank you for the use of your comfortable chairs, what was left of the food in the house and, of course, that rather excellent stash of tobacco.
Arnold is certin you won’t live, so I shan’t replace it yet. I’m on a budget, you know. But if you do live, I promise I’ll order some in fresh for you.
It was excellent leaf!
Dear Ms. MacBain,
I feel I should warn you, having been acquainted with Mr. Lighthouse for a number of years, that it is a slippery slope upon which you now tread. I know how he operates. Sure, it may seem harmless at first… cold left overs today, a sampling of his fancy ‘tobacco’ tomorrow, but the next thing you know, you’re halfway around the world on some half-baked adventure with no exit strategy and no idea how you’re going to get back home.
Dear Mr. Petharic,
Your warning is appreciated and duly noted. However, I do feel it should be noted that I have quite sworn off adventures, odysseys, tom-foolery and flights-of-fancy.
With this in mind, I do think you’ll find it’s unlikely that I am in any danger of being tugged into one of Mr. Lighthouse’s half-baked schemes. Particularly as it is unlikely he will return, since I have heard one of his destinations is Bump.
P.S. There was an apple pie of excellent quality. It would have been an unforgivable crime to allow it to moulder away in Mr. Lighthouse’s kitchen!
I will concede that Mr. Lighthouse’s apple pie is to die for… especially after one has enjoyed the hookah.
We keep very different hours Miss Macbain, so we should not get in each others way. If he didn’t want you here as well he shouldn’t have made the offer to you in the first place.