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OOC – RL sucks right now

If I’m cranky, moody, out of sorts – or just plain not around – in the upcoming weeks, my family just found out yesterday that my father has lung cancer that has already metasticized (sp?) to his brain.  I completely went to pieces when my step-mother called me yesterday, so my boss sent me home which is how I was in SL pretty much ALL day yesterday.  I’ve been lucky up until this point in my life.  The only deaths in my immediate family have been Ramoo and my grandfather.  My grandmother, Ramoo’s daughter, is still living and in good health.  Both my parents are alive.  They were young when they had me, so i was anticipating having them for a good while longer.  We knew that something was wrong.  For the last couple of weeks my dad’s been having symptoms that sounded like MS to all of us (and to the doctor).  He has not been having any trouble with his breathing or anything.  What we were fully expecting was a diagnosis of MS.  We were in no way shape or form expecting this.  I live far away from my dad, so I will probably be going to him some time in the next few weeks.

Then today someone told me that the little boy (3 or so) of a former client died.  I always get over attached to the kids here.  Especially the little ones, so that hit me like a ton of bricks.

I don’t want sympathy.  I just want you all to know that if I’m acting not quite right there’s a reason.  I don’t feel like someone yanked the carpet out from under me.  I feel like someone yanked the whole dag-gone floor.

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9 Comments

  1. Tepic Harlequin Tepic Harlequin August 19, 2010

    a difficult time, my friend, if you want to chat and i’m around, just call.  My thoughts are with you.

  2. Breezy Carver Breezy Carver August 19, 2010

    Hugss  Little Zaida  tight .. 

  3. Zaida Gearbox Zaida Gearbox August 19, 2010

    *Hugs back*  I’m going to withdraw from school and return my text books.  I’m hoping that it won’t take real long for the refund to go through, and I’ll be able to use the money to fly down and see my dad.  I know when it gets to the point that the doctor says, “If there’s anyone you think should be here…” that my church will pay for me to go down, but I don’t wait until that point to see my daddy.  I want to be with him while maybe he still has some good days.

  4. Jimmy Branagh Jimmy Branagh August 19, 2010

    Jimmy puts an arm around Zaida, and hands her an enhanced Zaidapop.

  5. Marit_Static Marit_Static August 20, 2010

    *hugs Zaida* were all here fur ya if you want someone/people to talk to

    and your welcome in the tardis whenever you want (even if im gone)

  6. Edward Pearse Edward Pearse August 21, 2010

    I can’t even begin to imagine what this must be like. I’ve lost two Grandparents but they were to old age (though I would have liked them to have reached their 80s). Someone more immediate and with such a diagnoses would be as you say, like the floor has gone missing.

    If you want to talk, I’m a good listener.

    *hugs*

  7. Zaida Gearbox Zaida Gearbox September 20, 2010

    My sister that still lives at home just texted me, said that the rescue squad just took my dad, and that I need to be on standby incase they call in the family.

    It’s weird because I was just telling my part-time boss that I’m going back down there at Thanksgiving, and he said, “You’ll be back down there long before that.”

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