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Letters to Doctor S, Part VI. Feeling dead…

Thaddeus,

I know you haven’t even received my last letter yet, but part of me hopes that you receive this one first… I..I don’t know how to say this without bursting into tears again. I’ve married. I made a decision on how to keep Metier away from my friends and I married Lionheart. I was so stressed out about the whole ordeal for so long that when I finally told him yes, I felt a great weight lift off of me, but at the same time, my mind was racing for a reason to back out. A reason to say no. A reason that I wouldn’t stoop to Metier’s demands…

But I said yes. He proposed a third time. On one knee. With a beautiful ring. And we were married that afternoon…. Oh Thaddeus, what has become of me? I used to be so levelheaded and now my mind is blank that I don’t know what I’ve become. I feel so tired as if I were Atlas and the world was lifted from my shoulders for a while. But just like Atlas, I know that the weight will return, I simply don’t know when or how it will fall on me again.

I know that Arnold didn’t want me to do it. And as I mentioned, part of me did not want to do it either. But the protective part did. I wanted to save everyone from harm and I may have, inadvertently, done myself in figuratively to save them all. But I will try to honor the Professor as my husband, being that we signed a contract and he signed in blood. He seemed co-operative enough to do so, it’s only fair that I try to be a decent wife to him.

However, if things are not going the way they should be, as soon as possible, it will be rectified. I can only hope that he decides to play nice and try as well… otherwise, I may just fall over from the exhaustion that I feel mentally, spiritually, and emotionally…
I simply feel flattened…and devoid of anything but a need to sleep for a hundred years…

                                                                                                                   Maddox
p.s. Give my love to Jung. I miss that cat. Perhaps I can ask my new husband to gift me with one soon…

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