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IRON BAY CHEF – Wiggs Dinner

Okay,  I be about ta tell ya ‘bout some right delectable scoff. Up here ‘n these parts, narth of yar hoity-toity walled city of Babbage we tends to shartin’ the name a things a speck – so rather than Wiggyfish Dinner we just calls her the Wiggs Dinner. See what I done there? I just dropped the ‘fish’ part ta keeps it simple and such.

Right then, let’s keep this proper. Here be yar ingredients:

  •  3 pounds of the salted Wiggyfish
  • a half gallon of ale

  • 1 mug of yellow split peas

  • ‘bout a half dozen big taters

  • a half dozen decent carrots

  • a turnip roughly half the size of yer biggest tater

  • a cabbage fresh from the garden and cut in wedges

  • a half pound of butter

  • salt and pepper


Make sure ya gots what ya be needin’ befare ya start, see, ‘cause there ain’t nothin’ worse than getting halfway through yar cookin’ and discoverin’ ya be missing somethin’ crucial.

Now ya start by rinsin’ yar fish in cold water. Then drop her in a dutch oven and cover with the ale. Next, wrap them split peas in a cheesecloth – if ya don’t got no cheescloth just use an old shirt. Make sure ya leave extra room when ya be tyin’ her off. Those little buggers swell when they get cookin’.

Right then, next ya put the lid on yar dutch oven and simmer on a low heat far about three hours. Don’t be too concerned about the time, as long as she bubbles far a good part of the afternoon, you’ll be right.

After some time has passed dice up yar root vegetables and toss ‘em in along with the cabbage wedges. Might also be a good time to check yar peas. If they be soft, mash them buggers into a smooth paste with some salt, pepper and yar half pound of butter. Set this aside ta serve as a side dish – it be right some scrumptious so no fingern in, ya hear me? It be right rude ta dip yar finger in far tastin’ when ya be cookin’ far guests.

Now I’m gonna tell you a little trick so as ya knows when the Wiggs Dinner be done. Take a spoon and press one of yar root vegetable into the side of the dutch oven. If she squishes she be right ta go.

All ya got left is ta ladle out yar Wiggs Dinner inta some bowls. Give everyone a spoon and a knife, roll up yar sleeves and dig in there. And tell everyone ta come hungry, there be seconds.

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One Comment

  1. Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg September 6, 2013

    Cleetus!  You’re right, it does sound right delectable.  Split peas with butter and salt and pepper…


    I’m eager to try this one. Bert and the Squire both need some fattening up before winter.

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