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Bar Wars: Official Missive to Sir Sir Emerson Lighthouse

To: Sir Sir Emerson Lighthouse and Madame Junie Ginsburg, proprietors of the Independent Drinking Establishment known as The Gangplank

From: Mr. Domingo Sebastiano da Gaminha Rendeiro, Designated Envoy of Mr. and Mrs. Scottie Melnik, proprietors of the Well Grounded and Right Honorable Drinking Establishment of ‘Cuffs. 

In light of recent events to public drinking houses within the greater City, it seems expeditious that our establishments make a binding pact of nonagression and mutual aid. I will meet with you or your designated envoy on the neutral field of Mureaux Park, so that we may negotiate a treaty that is agreeable to both. 

I await your reply. 

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse August 2, 2012

    Dear Mr. Domingo Sebastiano da Gaminha Rendeiro,

    Thank you for your correspondence from the proprietors of the Well Grounded and Right Honorable Drinking Establishment of ‘Cuffs.

    After conferring with Madame Ginsburg regarding the proposal you have detailed
    we think it an opportune time to accept this alliance and in solidarity mount a
    most aggressive defense. I would be happy to send my agent to Mureaux Park to
    discuss details agreeable to both parties.

    Sincerely,

    Sir Sir Emerson Lighthouse, MD, PHD, NBE (retired)

     

     

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse August 2, 2012

      Emerson read the missive again to Junie.

      “A truce.” she mused looking a bit disappointed.

      Emerson glanced at the bucket she held in her hand. “I guess we don’t glue their bottles to the bar afterall.”

       

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