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Arnold’s Journal: June 6th through 11th.

June 6th Monday:  Why can’t we trust one another?

Last night me and Maddox had a talk in which she revealed she had spoken to Professor Lionheart and that he had tried to talk her into an arrangement, which she had turned down.  It was about my own understanding with him and I had to say that I can only blame myself since I had never stipulated that he never try to bring her into it or tell her about it.

There were other things that we admitted to ourselves that night, such as the fact I had told Lionheart in exchange for some information on how the wards worked about why we came here.  I also told him that I had begun to suspect that it was just an elaborate way of Thaddeus trying to kill us.

She vehemently denied this and she let slip that she might have been in worse trouble and even slain if she had not left.  I never lived at her house, nor was I ever her ”assistant” till the boat ride here, so I knew there were things she wasn’t telling me, but this was beyond what I had imagined.  She could have been killed and she never told me?  I may not have been her self appointed guardian then, but I was her friend.

Still, since she had shared a small piece of her past with me finally I shared my a small piece of my own history that I had kept from her, about how dangerous I can be while I sleep walk.

I spent the rest of the night thinking, as I had before, and a few things I had read about Jung were starting to make more sense to me…

Tuesday June 7th:  I am a horrible friend.

No one was in the hospital this morning, so I walked as carefully as possible, with the assistance of the walls to catch myself if I did fall to the nurses station and the food to take care of myself again for the first time in weeks.  There was a pair of crutches there so I used them to get back into my room.  I really don’t think they’re necessary but they will prevent me from falling and breaking my nose, and it will put the doctors at ease more when I ask to be released on Thursday, which I think will be the second week mark.

It was a day spent alone and in silence…until Maddox banged on my door late at night and woke me up screaming, damning me, herself, and everything to perdition.  She was drunk, obviously, and she had woken me up as she had.  I was also confused and dazed due to this and we both said things that we will probably regret for the rest of our lives, it went a little something like…

[22:28] Maddox Sinclaire: I am a grown wo-woman Arnold…. I… (dissolves into tears and puts her hands to her face)
[22:28] Arnold: So you said before.
[22:28] Maddox Sinclaire: You hate me.
[22:29] Arnold: To a very small degree.
[22:29] Arnold: I care for you more than I hate you though.
[22:29] Maddox SinclaireMaddox Sinclaire cries even harder. “The-then pe-perhaps I’ll ju-just drown myself in-in bathwater, then…”
[22:30] Maddox SinclaireMaddox Sinclaire starts hobbling toward the bathtub.
[22:30] Arnold: Try it and I WILL drown you.
[22:30] Maddox Sinclaire: Then you do hate me.
[22:31] Arnold: I thought we established this, now sit down.

[22:32] Maddox Sinclaire: I… you should never h-have come with me…I m-made life bad for you…
[22:32] Arnold: I don’t have a life, how could you make it worse when it doesn’t exist?
[22:32] Arnold: At least I discovered fencing.
[22:33] Maddox SinclaireMaddox Sinclaire sniffles. “M-my li–life died a y-year ago… I…I..I ha-hate that… that.”
[22:34] Arnold: So you have no life either?
[22:34] Arnold: Here I always thought you were better than me.
[22:35] Maddox Sinclaire: I…I’m go-going to sleep. I–I don’t need you ju–ju–making me feel bad.
[22:35] Arnold: You need something if you’re going to drown yourself.
[22:35] Maddox Sinclaire: I…I can’t please you, c-can I?
[22:36] Arnold: You can please me, but killing yourself after I devoted what amounts to my existence to keeping you alive, now THAT might piss me off.
[22:37] Maddox Sinclaire: I c-could be sorry… I am sorry… but it n-never seems enough for y-you…
[22:38] Arnold: Are you saying that my standards are impossible to meet?
[22:38] Maddox Sinclaire: I d-don’t know what I’m saying anymore…
[22:39] Arnold: I know you don’t.

Now that we’ve both calmed down I’ve come to the conclusion that Miss Maddox couldn’t have a worse friend if she got on her knees and prayed, no, begged to the heavens for one, but I did at least get her to smile again…

[22:44] Arnold: And did you EAT anything today?
[22:44] Arnold: Hmm?
[22:44] Maddox Sinclaire: I had a som’thin’
[22:44] Arnold: I know I had to feed myself.
[22:44] Arnold: You’ve been eating at the same times I have, but you missed todays.
[22:45] Arnold: I think you didn’t.
[22:45] Maddox Sinclaire: I had a lil som’thin’.
[22:45] Arnold: What.
[22:45] Maddox Sinclaire: Food, ya silly kitty.
[22:45] Arnold: And what was the food?
[22:45] Maddox Sinclaire: Eatable food.
[22:45] Arnold: You had nothing.
[22:46] Maddox Sinclaire: I had some foods!
[22:46] Arnold: Liar.
[22:46] Maddox Sinclaire: Why issit ya never b’lieve me when i tell ya som’thin?
[22:46] Arnold: Since when do I believe anything?
[22:46] Maddox Sinclaire: Ass…
[22:46] Arnold: No, that’s Lionheart.
[22:47] Maddox Sinclaire: No.. he’s a… he’s a … he’s a horse’s ass… (laughs)

I got her to go to bed, and I spent the night in thought again, coming to some more conclusions I had never had before.  I need to get out of this hospital and talk to some people…

June 8th Wed:  Another birthday uncelebrated.

I asked Mr. Harvey what the date was and he told me the 8th of June, and I realized suddenly that I had missed my birth-date in May.  Oh well, I’m fifteen now, thirty in human years.  I may have a piece of cake later to celebrate if I remember.  Mr. Harvey offered me one, but I have the feeling I’ll never get it.

He did say that he wanted to reinterview Professor Lionheart about possibly getting his position back.  I told him that it was up to him, but also mentioned that he had recently spoken to Maddox and Mr. Harvey decided to get her opinion as well.

Professor Lionheart himself came downstairs at one point, and on crutches I followed him to the Lotus of the Sea, though I do admit that I almost fell and he did catch me while going down the stairs with those things, so that we could speak while he drank.  He seems to perfer drinking while speaking to me for some reason, I suppose one could just look at the conversation above to see how I treat my own best friend in conversation to figure out why though.

June 9th Thursday:  Clothes shopping and a relaxation party at the Gangplank.

I was released today, as per my request, and I went clothes shopping with Miss Maddox.  A lot of people saw me in the dress, but I had expected them too.  We got several articles of clothes that Miss Maddox took back to the sub, while I continued to go about in my dress.  I ended my day resting at the Gangplank, where a small party began, though it did take Miss Stargirl the better part of two hours to realize I was wearing a dress.

June 10th Friday:  Another party, and realizations about my recent behavior…

I went about freely today for the most part, though I was still wearing crutches, and the only thing to note was a party at the grand opening of Miss Tesla’s bar.  While enjoying my time there, well enjoying it the way that I enjoy these things, I overheard that the mayor had fallen ill again and that Mr. Underby had taken over many of his duties.

I told him the mayor that day in the Gangplank we would see if he got sick again in a few weeks, and he said yes, we’ll see and he had smiled very smugly.  I asked for an appointment with the mayor on Monday through Mr. Underby, so that I could gloat. Well, and check for the other signs of Yellow Fever that would be present, but mostly the gloating.

As I sit here writing this, I am forced to do some thinking…and I’m starting to wonder if I’m being so horrible to everyone because I’ve
been stuck in a bed for two weeks and if maybe I should not calm down
and get a grip on myself, I was quite rude to a newcomer to town last night by the name of Mr. Plymoth…and I didn’t treat him that much better
tonight when he was trying to tell everyone in town about a disease
going around in his home land.  Then again no one except for the doctor,
whose name I found out was Cyberfaustus, really did.

June 11th Saturday:  I really am a horrible friend.

I witnessed a protest today, along with a few other bystanders, as the LLL protested Dr. Berithos for things which he told Miss Stargirl, under a guise of calls for equal rights which anyone present could tell you was just a very obvious front.

I went to talk with Dr. Sonnerstein today, having finally caught up with him, but I didn’t tell him what I had figured out about the rumors.  We did however have a short chat about other things that I had figured out with my work researching what Jung wrote and how the mayor was sick again as well as a few other things.

I went down to the hospital after that, which is where Maddox had been going when I insisted on talking to Dr. Sonnerstein alone, and there…

[21:42] Maddox Sinclaire: He is my best friend. He’s done everything he could to keep his word to Thaddeus and I thank him for that. I simply don’t know how much longer I can take care of him… he may just decide that I mother him too much…
[21:42] Arnold: You do.
[21:43] Maddox SinclaireMaddox Sinclaire turns quickly. “Oh… Arnold.. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you come in.”
[21:43] Blackberry HarveyBlackberry Harvey stands up. “Hello, Mr. Arnold. How are you feeling?”
[21:43] Arnold: Of course you didn’t, I was just banging loudly with my crutches and everything.
[21:43] Arnold: Am I really that bad at sneaking up with people?
[21:44] Arnold: I don’t even mean to usually.
[21:44] Maddox SinclaireMaddox Sinclaire flushes red. “Perhaps I should go upstairs…. I do have some notes to catch up on…”
[21:44] Arnold: Was I really the only subject matter that you have to run away now?
[21:45] Blackberry Harvey: Mr. Arnold…
[21:45] Maddox Sinclaire: No. I really do need to pop upstairs Arnold… I have work to catch up on. I’ll see you upstairs?
[21:45] Blackberry HarveyBlackberry Harvey nods, “Goodnight, Doctor”
[21:45] Arnold: Alright then. If you say so.
[21:46] Blackberry Harvey: May I have a word with you, Mr. Arnold?

We had a short chat, and it turns out that our recent argument had gotten to her.  I went upstairs to apologize, and we both did, though things didn’t go as well as could have been hoped.  We’ll never forget what we told each other that night, but what can you do but move on?

[22:05] Maddox Sinclaire: It seems we argue quite a bit now, Arnold.
[22:06] Arnold: I don’t mean to offend or hurt your feelings. You know I’m just horrible at these things.
[22:07] Maddox Sinclaire: I know… and there’s nothing I want less in the world than to hinder you. You are a grown feline. But I feel as though I can’t do anything without annoying you, it seems.
[22:08] Arnold: You threatened to drown yourself in a tub.
[22:08] Maddox Sinclaire: I was drunk!
[22:08] Maddox Sinclaire: I would have said anything.
[22:08] Arnold: It rubbed me the wrong way, after I was rudely woken up in a hospital bed.
[22:08] Arnold: I was tired, sleepy, and not thinking straight either.
[22:08] Maddox Sinclaire: Then I guess I should apologize.
[22:09] Arnold: I’m sorry too…it should not have come to that.
[22:09] Arnold: And nobody should have overheard, but I think one or two people did.
[22:10] Maddox Sinclaire: Right at the moment, I’m not sure it wasn’t more, now that Miss Aurora told us the mer watch us all the time.
[22:10] Arnold: I ignored that to be honest.

I’m not sure about the mer, but Lionheart had overheard all of this as well, so I saw no problem in talking to him about it all too.  He seemed to be pleased about it and seemed to think that I had thrown off the persona as the ”servitor”.

I’ve never considered myself her server anyways, if anything I’ve been trying to make her take care of herself, but I didn’t bother to correct him about the role I actually have put myself in.

I finally ran into Scald I informed him as well that me and Maddox had that argument, but only after I told him what I had to about the rumors.  I left him to think and dwell on the information I had shared with him.

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