Press "Enter" to skip to content

Another Letter to Miss Hienrichs

Dear Miss Hienrichs,
As you know, it has been my habit in the past of writing you a brief letter before heading off on one of my hair-raising, death defying adventures. My most recent adventure was upon me so suddenly however that I had no chance of warning you in advance of my potential absence. No fear, I am safely returned after only about 24 hours, having valiantly fought off Morlocks, Tharks, Martian royalty and an insane paediatric psychiatrist who has been living underground creating monsters and medicinal concoctions for the last half century. Perhaps most incredible of all is that all this occurred hundreds of feet beneath the streets of Clockhaven.
Of particular note is the fact that I successfully destroyed the cure to the common cold produced by the maniac known as Dr. Joe. Apparently he had plans on sending it to Mars – or some such nonsense. I have never been one to trust these so called inoculations given out by my colleagues. Most doctors are little more than charlatans afterall (excluding myself of course).

Upon returning to the surface I was most chagrined to discover that an inoculation program has been going on in town purportedly to prevent the zombie outbreak Victor is sure to unleash upon us (despite what he says). While these inoculations may be good in theory, the results may be dire for some. A few nights ago, Miss Ginsburg, Squire Malus and I were forced to lock one of our barmaids, Miss Moemo (or is it Momoe?) in the cellar after she began to stagger around, reeking of putrefaction and muttering incoherently. Apparently she later escaped into the sewer system and has since been confined to the local asylum.

In any event, Miss Hienrichs, it may ease your mind to know I will be vigilantly manning the Tesla cannon on the roof of my house shooting anything pale and creepy that dares to wander alongside the Stora Canal – except Miss Phaedra Byrne of course.

Sincerely your ever vigilant neighbour,
Sir Sir Emerson Lighthouse,
MD, PHD, MBA, NBE, (double knighted, twice retired)

Spread the love


  1. Delta Sweetwater Delta Sweetwater October 10, 2012

    Well, my idea is that the strange creature Jimmy saw in North Fells may have something to do with the Zombies and not the vaccine, but so far I do not have any evidence to back this claim up. Still, I managed to help Arnold and the others capture Momo, at least thats something. I have to see how much more I can get invovled in all of this.

    • Petharic Petharic October 10, 2012

      Do you know how to handle a firearm? My suggestion for getting involved would be to shoot Emerson Lighthouse off that roof of his before he hurts someone.


  2. Junie Ginsburg Junie Ginsburg October 10, 2012

    Really, Miss Book, there is nothing like the electrostatic hum of a resonant transformer to make a girl feel safe and secure.

    *inflates foil balloons with scary faces to float up to Em for target practice*

  3. Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold October 11, 2012

    I spoke to Bookworm earlier in the day about this very issue…about not letting you shoot them as a matter of fact…

    Oh yes, and to ask her to have someone stay inside the asylum with us after the three attempted break ins…that Nymlet individual really wanted to shoot the people inside.  Not to mention the clockwork that’s obsessed…

    • Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon October 11, 2012

      *ponders obsessed clockwork…*

    • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse October 11, 2012

      Arnold, what nonsense are you dithering on about this time? What is a Tesla cannon for if not blowing away zombies and the occasional escaped (and potentally supernatural) homicidal lunatic? I’m not planning on storming your asylum, so relax and take some more of that catnip you fancy. 

      • Avariel Falcon Avariel Falcon October 11, 2012

        *finishes work on the new Mk.III Aetheric Cannon*

        Lock and load! Yay!

        Although… technically you don’t load an aetheric cannon, you turn it on and bwooosh! zombie full of holes!

        Anyhow, I approve of Tesla cannons, everyone should have one! Also we have a half price offer on aetheric accumulator charging this week!

        • Emerson Lighthouse Emerson Lighthouse October 11, 2012

          *sips his morning coffee and ponders how one high fives a clockwork unicorn*


      • Mr. Arnold Mr. Arnold October 11, 2012

        Well at least you aren’t planning to, a few others haven’t seemed to give up just yet.

        I admit that I was shooting the zombie dino’s last year using that Tesla cannon, but those things could jump…and break through windows…and doors.

  4. Bookworm Hienrichs Bookworm Hienrichs October 11, 2012

    Bookworm sighed and shook her head as she finished Mr. Lighthouse’s note.  She still hadn’t fully made up her mind about him.  On the one hand, there was no denying he was rather a charming rogue.  On the other hand, she really had to wonder about his grasp of reality.  After all–Martians?  And Morlocks and Tharks, whatever they were?  All beneath Clockhaven’s streets?

    ‘On the other other hand,’ she thought wryly, ‘this is New Babbage.’  Perhaps she should get more details from him–and whoever had been with him.

    But later, of course.  She first had to deal with the now-usual October madness.  And not just zombies this year–though so far, at least, the outbreak seemed limited–but a wolf-like creature that had escaped from the asylum and probably attacked at least one person before its recapture.  Arnold had said to look for someone with rabies, but Bookworm knew enough to read between the lines, and she’d dug out some silver ammunition, just in case.

    She also dashed off a note recommending that the militia set up a constant watch at the asylum for the next few days.  The break-in attempts were definitely disturbing, and not something she wanted to see continue.

Leave a Reply