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A newspaper Article from Heathen Lands about the Alleviation and Reduction of Starvation and Malnourishment

An article that could be read in New Babbage if anyone has access to the Nov. 1 issue of the New Delhi Times


Food in Times of Need

The English inform us that they have found a new food source for the many poor and heathen in our land. Lord Elgin Marbles of our city says he has signed a contract to import a new foodstuff from a land called New Babage and a place called Eileen Bay. Lord Marbles says that by the new Year, God willing, barrells of an affordable and nutritious foodstuff called “Steampunk Green for the Poor and Heathen” will arrive for distribution to the poor and heathen who now must eat mud and live in squalor for not being English or smart.

Lord Marbles says the makers of this fine product, a Mr Serpent and a Lord Cavendar, say the food is so fine that they do not wish it eaten within easy walking distance of their land, owing to everyone loving it so much they just want more and more. Lord Marbles said he does not know what is actually in the food, except it appears to be reused waste byproducts and he said Mr Serpent indicated brains are involved, which perhaps will make the poor and heathen smarter. God be praised. Lord Marbles said he hopes the makers are able to make production soon so that this fine food may arrive. God be praised!



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  1. Garnet Psaltery Garnet Psaltery November 17, 2014

    I’m sure it is wholesome food, and indeed body-building.

  2. violet Solano violet Solano November 20, 2014

    i don’t see any profitable reason for feeding these ….. people, but,i’ll be happy to ship the stuff,……. for a price.

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