23 November 188X
Finally! My luck has turned! We have discovered a rare antiquity of enormous proportion on the Loony Bin property and I am most pleased. Really, an answer to my prayers, if I prayed, which I don’t, but this discovery solves a most urgent problem and I am feeling grateful nonetheless.
Two days ago, when the work crew (a gaggle of alcoholic miscreants if there ever was one) was clearing the demolition rubble from the Loony Bin property, they were digging down into the earth to prepare for the foundation of a new building. I was watching them from across the street, sitting on a bench in the snow, when all of a sudden there was a great commotion. One of the workmen, Horus, came dashing across the street, yelling something incoherent. When he finally caught his breath (he’s a stout fellow), he was able to gasp out, “M’am, we’ve uncovered something big that looks like it may be a roof!” I returned to the dig site with him, shaking off his attempts to hold my hand and make me run, and lo’ and behold… there it was. Definitely a shingled roof on what appeared might be a stone structure of some sort.
I sent Horus to the docks to collect more men, and he returned within the hour. Twenty men set about excavating the land, shoveling, hauling away dirt and rock, for the next 40 hours. It was quite frenzied, all the activity. I became bored and went on a shopping trip, but when I returned, they had somehow ingeniously figured out a way to bring the entire structure to the surface in one piece, prepare a proper foundation and set it down carefully. It’s some sort of old church! Beautifully preserved! It looks medieval in design, and still has some very lovely painted decorations on the interior.
So! This will be the new Loony Bin now. I am so very grateful for this lovely and lucky surprise. I doubled the men’s payment and sent them on their way with a promise of free beer for life.
The problem now is… should I call an old church “The Loony Bin”? It doesn’t seem fitting.